The Costs of Post-Marital Masturbation - Part 4

Wow, I thought, as I was given the privilege of reading Mistress's past two writings about our situation. I read them at her invitation, so that I could have a better understanding of her feelings, the redefinition of our roles, and her expectations of me, both now and in the future.

What have I gotten myself into? I entered the marriage with love, devotion, respect, and the means to produce an affluent lifestyle. Masturbation had always been a significant part of my life. It was a source of pleasure and stress relief. I didn't realize she would find it so repulsive and unacceptable. Further, I had no idea that she would go to the lengths she did to leverage me into a docile, submissive, feminine role, one that precluded masturbation of any type, ever.

She began a practice of punishing me for just being male. She would have me strip naked, cuff my hands above my hand, and have me stand on tiptoes for hours. Or, she would use the paddle to warm up my butt. Many times, while being punished for being a man, she would put a dildo gag on me, along with a blindfold, and lecture me on what my role is, why women are superior to men, and what she expects of me. Without the opportunity to masturbate or gain any type of relief for long periods of time, I was driven to obey her.

Additionally, her use of friends and my boss, I was now in a financial position where I absolutely no choice but follow her directions. I love her, and I want the relationship to work out, but it is difficult to adjust to my new roles.

She shaved my entire body, from neck to toe, and she requires me to keep myself perfectly shaven at all times. She thinks that body hair is disgusting and unclean. Further, She makes me keep my toenails perfectly pedicured and painted at all times. At home, I must apply makeup, false fingernails, whig, and wear sexy feminine clothes, including pantyhose or tights and high heels. The French Maid uniform is most embarrassing.

She requires me to be on a stringent feminine diet and exercise program. I must do aerobics with her and her girlfriends, while wearing pink and purple leotards and a feminine workout outfit. Being and acting feminine goes against my grain, as I have always been a very macho man. She has absolutely crushed my macho ego.

The most difficult part of her plans is the prospect of courting a man, looking pretty for him, and giving him oral pleasure. How can I ever do that? I was not raised that way, and I don't believe that way. She contends that homophobia is an evil belief system, and she wants to eliminate it from my thinking. Also, she wants me to go through what women go through every day to maintain relationships.putting the shoe, or pump, on the other foot, as it were.

She verbally told me her plans to eliminate my racial biases. She will link me up with black and Latino men to service, and black and Latino women to serve. I cannot imagine these prospects, but I am over a financial and blackmailed barrel. What can I do? Also, I am madly in love with her, and I want to please her. Chastity will be the tool that will change my beliefs by doing the things she has planned.

I don't find women's magazines interesting, but I will have to learn. Also, I miss Football, Baseball, and all sports, which are no longer allowed for viewing in our home. The Oxygen channel, the WE channel, and Lifetime movies for women are some of my required viewing. Before this happened, I never dared read or view any of these publications or movies. I am in a forced transition. Marriage has become more than I ever expected.

To Be Continued

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Page last updated 02-Jun-02 by: Altairboy@aol.com