The Wife's View

Original structure by: Mistress Angela
Rewritten by chased man

Chastity is something that can fix relationships. If your willing to try, it can change your life and his for the better. It can add a spark to that love life that has been neglected. It can motivate your man like nothing else to give his all to you. I have always felt that being well informed about something enables you to do it well. Whether you are reading this to help you on chastity or your partner gave this to you, one thing is apparent, you obviously have some sort of interest or you wouldn't be taking the time to read about male chastity and its benefits. I have communicated over the years with over two dozen wives who keep their husbands chaste. I have met several of them in person and the one thing they all agree on is that the benefits of chastity for their marriages are incredible. It may amaze you, as it did me, to find out that so many men and women are using chastity as part of their relationship, really more than you could imagine. There is a lot of it being practiced, most likely by some of your friends. This document is a summary of what I have found out talking with many other women and practicing chastity with my husband for years. I hope it will help other wives who are considering the use of chastity in there relationship.

Before you embark on putting your man in a chastity device, you need to ask yourself the following questions.

Are you unhappy with how much attention you receive from him?

Do you think that at least part of the problem is that he masturbates or cares more about himself?

Has he admitted to you that he fantasizes about other weman?

Would you be willing to give up regular penis and vagina sex, if you got a lot more attention including more attention in the bedroom?

Do you recognize that you have also let your relationship dwindle over time as he has grown more distant?

Are you willing to take control and put in the effort to make your relationship work in a new and exciting way?

If yes, you should consider male chastity for your marriage.

To put this another way, Mars and Venus were attracted to each other, romanced each other and fell in love. Mars and Venus got married. Mars eventually retreated into his cave as men are apt to do and while there, found it convenient to masturbate rather than be with Venus. All too rarely does he emerge to pay any attention to Venus. Venus thought that with marriage Mars was hers and that life would be a forever version of their fairytale courtship days. She ignored the advice of wise mothers to daughters for generations that if you want to keep your man you have to keep making him want you. What is a wise Venus to do if she wants a happy lifelong marriage? She has to stop letting her marriage pass her by. The first step is that Venus needs to take control by keeping Mars from masturbating in his cave by locking him in a chastity device. The second step is for Venus to enthusiastically embrace her biological and psychological role in keeping Mars turned on. The third step is for Venus to get Mars' problem solving nature focused on how he can please her and for her to stop thinking the answer to their happiness is what she can do to please him.

To make chastity work you need to first develop a plan and then whole heartedly put it into action. I read a lot and communicated with many others and the strong consensus is that to change your marriage chastity has to be real and not a game. It has to be a 24/7 part of your relationship. 24/7 is the foundation; its what changes men for the positive because they shouldn't have the opportunity to control their sexual release. This is the area that the woman must have absolute control over. Although the woman remains in control it is very important to remember that you and he are still a couple and in a relationship, he is still your husband and that shouldn't be forgotten. Life goes on as it always has, employment, finances, family issues and decisions are all still there. Your dominance may come into other areas of your relationship but you will find he will react differently to your leadership, as his feelings and emotions change.

Whether this is something that he initiated, the two of you mutually agreed upon or something that you requested from him - one thing is a necessity, there needs to be something for him to gain. He is giving up something that is a very important part of a his life, his sexual abilities - and for that you need to realize that he should be rewarded as you will be, but obviously in a much different way. You know the things that he likes, that arouse him and put a smile on his face. Often times we find that these are things that really do not interest us but considering the sacrifice that he is making you too can make sacrifices. Like marriage, chastity needs mutual rewards and often you will find those things that you reward him with will lead to an increase in his being aroused and enhancing his over all demeanor. You know how to dress to turn him on and you need to find out his fetishes if you don't know them already and indulge them. All of this will heighten his happiness and arousal. He is making a permanent change in his lifestyle and you too may need to make some adjustments.

All men, given the ability, masturbate and way more often than most women think they do. This is something that is difficult for them to control and even more difficult to part with. Young men have an abundance of testosterone so masturbation doesn't seem to interfere with their pursuit of women. However, as men grow older masturbating can cause them to ignore you for a couple days. Chastity puts a stop to the masturbation and works in many ways; it changes his mood, demeanor and libido. Most importantly it changes his desire to please you, if done properly. It is not his goal to do the cooking or the cleaning or the laundry but you will find that it will happen. As his sexual energy builds there is no longer the ability to release it himself, so he will attempted to please you in order to divert that energy. You being the source of his sexual pleasure will change his motivation, focus, and feelings, he will love you in a way that you desire and he will be eager to please you because you are, as I said, the source of his release. He will find, over time, he is happier and that will be because you're happier. He will love the emotional boost the two of you share.

How to do it?

That is an extremely important decision. Developing the correct plan, one that would work for us, was the most detailed part of the process. By taking the advice of many other women, I was able to put a well informed plan together that I was confident would be successful. I followed this plan from day one and still do today. I have found it works. At least a dozen other ladies have also utilized variations of this plan successfully. We must always remember that sexually we are always in command and that first and foremost we will always be sexually satisfied. This is the cornerstone to happiness for both you and him. Keeping you sexually satisfied is your husband's job. The man should be ready anywhere and anytime you say and by any means you demand. His not being able to experience the pleasure of an orgasm, gives him the willingness to make you happy sexually and relationally. His possible release is dependent on your contentment and willingness to reward him.

You may think that this works only to your advantage and that is a common misconception. It is just as advantageous for him. He must keep you satisfied to eventually get his release and every time he satisfies you he is happy because he has made you happy. It is important to instill in him that his primary means of sexual gratification will be through yours. Eventually every time you experience an orgasm he will have a sense of sexual satisfaction.

What could be better, being pleasured any way you like. Him feeling sexually satisfied because you are and maintaining a high libido. Although you're still equals outside of the home you are the queen and he is there to treat you as such.

Achieving your desired results is easier than you might think. It is an empowering experience. Depending on your situation there will be differences but there is a basic foundation that should be utilized in order to achieve results. The most important step is always the first one. This is where he is made to understand that chastity is not a fantasy, you control his sexual pleasure from this point forward. He must be willing to give you complete control over his sexual ability. Most of the women I have talked with agree that it is best to lay out the terms of your new relationship with him in the strongest possible terms. Most favor a written contract, so there is no room for confusion. My terms and the consensus advice from those women I talked with are.

He agrees to having his penis pierced and permanently locked in a chastity device of your choosing

You alone have the power to grant him an orgasm and you may never allow him another one or release from his chastity.

He agrees to perform all services, domestic and sexual, that you request

Anything less than this and he has either not admitted that there is a problem, that the solution has to be permanent and completely effective, or that he has to give up total control of his sexuality to you.

These two rules need to be discussed and agreed apon because of how important they are and how specific you and he will be in what is ok and what isn't. A good rule of thumb is a safe word you will respect in regards to corporal punishment like "red".

He agrees that bad behavior will be dealt with harshly

He agrees to be disciplined by corporal punishment.

You having other sexual partners or cuckolding while or because he is in chastity is a controversial issue. A couple of the women I communicated with had many partners in addition to their locked up hubby. A couple of bisexual women had female partners but only their hubby on the male side. Most of the women I talked with, though, did not carry on with other sexual partners because once their hubbies were locked up they were getting all the sex and attention they wanted. Some of them do tease their husbands about the possibility of seeing other men. In my view we can't have double standards, if we are more than happy to punish a man for cheating on us than how can we do that to them.

It is almost universally held by women who seriously practice chastity that the initial enforcement of chastity should be at least three to six months of continuous wear without relief after you go through the break in period of getting a device that fits. Preventing him from having an orgasm for a six month period may seem a bit harsh but it is paramount to your success, as it allows his body and mind to adjust to the no masturbation or sexual release. Enforcing the first six month period will allow him to get into the proper frame of mind and make him understand your commitment and determination to his being chaste; it will also give you the chance to develop the strength to say "no". He should be made aware of the time frame immediately upon his being secured in the device, this allows for a clear understanding of the initial commitment of time. If he is at all uncooperative during this first six month period, you should add additional time to his lock up. I gave Mark a one month extension when he whined and two months when he bluntly told me he needed out. After that there were no more incidents but I was planing on three months for the next offense. I agree with the other women Ive talked with that you can't be too strict with the initial lockup period if you want to achieve the triple goals of getting yourself past feeling that it is your duty to give him orgasms, getting him focused on his new role of pleasing you, and your becoming comfortable with being in charge. If you haven't achieved these goals then lengthen the time. In retrospect, I felt myself falling into the trap of wanting to allow him an orgasm since he was so frustrated by the chastity device. I am glad I didn't give in and when I finally let him out it was on my terms.

After my experience I have come to strongly hold the view that it would be better if the initial chastity period was set at a year with further extensions for any serious misbehavior. After three to six months of being locked up your hubby would be willing to do almost anything for a release so in that sense the chastity device will have done its job physically but mentally some men can hold out for three months and bounce back to their old ways once you let them cum and may expect future orgasms on a regular basis. He will have agreed with you saying that you can deny him permanently but believe me there is a big difference between telling a man that he can have an orgasm in a month or telling him that it will be at least six months. And further still a year's time horizon puts an end to all the fun and games and excitement he may associate with chastity. It makes your agreeing to lock him up permanently the very serious proposition that it is. A year's initial lock up tells him that you are committed to making your new relationship work long term and that once he hands you the keys there is no turning back. A chastity lifestyle will be very hard on him initially and a year without a release will make that very clear to him. You will have put a permanent end to his days of masturbating behind your back. His life will never be the same afterwards. Rather than pleasuring himself when he wants, he will become dedicated to pleasuring you when you want it and how you want it. Some of the women I talked with said their males initially back down from their wanting to be put in chastity when faced with a year's lock up. If so he is not yet willing to surrender the control to you necessary to make the relationship work through the use of chastity. Don't push him, just gently remind him whenever he brings up the topic of chastity that you will only do it on your terms. When he agrees, he is ready and you should keep up your end of the bargain. You also need more time to explore how to make his chastity work best for you. If you know it is going to be at least six months you will start to experiment and think about how to train him to pleasure you without worrying about his orgasm. When you can do this it will have change the dynamic of your relationship in a way that sets you and him on a path to long term happiness.

Upon completing his initial confinement period I assure you that you can give him an experience like he has never had before, this is a reward for the couple. You will have a sense of strength for enforcing it and him for getting through it. You should make his orgasm a slow drawn out one with lots of teasing. It will be all too easy for him to cum very quickly. You may need to tie him down to insure your control but when you finally do let him cum it will be almost too much for his body to handle.

Once you allow him his first release it is entirely up to you how many sexual experiences you allow, how they occur and how the ejaculate is disposed. At each one of these you have the opportunity to enforce your authority. A very important step during any release period is to ensure that you will get him right back in to his device. Some women do this by always tying him up before the device is removed. Locking his hands behind his back in a pair of handcuffs is a quick way to keep him from grabbing his penis if you are teasing him. I also have a waist belt with a pair of leather cuffs. You can get something similar for cuffing his hands to his thighs. If all you are doing is inspecting his penis and making sure the device is cleaned then I just put the handcuffs on one of his wrists or ankles prior to removing his device. Before the cuff comes off he has to be secured back in his chastity tube. I am confident that he would not be willing to go to work with it dangling off of him. Several of the other women have tried this trick and found it works well. The less that you have to worry about his arguing that the device doesn't have to immediately go back on the more likely you are to take it off frequently which promotes both teasing and keeping the tube and his penis clean. By this point its most likely that the roles have reversed and you don't want to go back to his old ways and he does but you can always remind him that this was what he wanted or you both decided together or he agreed whole heartedly by your insistence that you would only do it your way.

There were a number of different views about how often a male should be allowed to cum after the initial denial period. Some of the women with younger males let theirs have an orgasm once a week. Other women I talked to thought that it was best to strike a balance between keeping them completely denied and giving them some hope of earning a release. You will need to experiment to see what works best for you. The most common belief was that it was not good to allow their male to achieve an orgasm more than once per month but most thought that his orgasm should not very often be withheld for more than three months unless there was a good reason for doing so. Several women who I have become friendly with believe that once a year is the right number. Some of the women liked to think about how often hubby could have an orgasm as a small fraction of the number of orgasms they had. A hundred to one ratio was popular but you can pick the number to suit your needs and get the time between releases right for you. This approach gives him a strong incentive to initiate pleasing your sexual needs. I suspect that Mark would be unbearable and unstoppable if this was the rule but you know yourself and your hubby and can always experiment.

Some of the other women like to set goals for their hubbies where they be allowed an orgasm if a big goal was met. One of the women I talked with wanted her husband to lose 40 pounds. After he completed the initial six month lock up, he was given a mind blowing orgasm but then she brought him back down to earth by telling him that their relationship was so much better with him locked in chastity that he would now get out only once a year. She then told him that she would let him out early for each ten pounds he lost and that for each five pounds he gained he would get three months added on to his lockup. She was thrilled with the results. He got fifty pounds off during the year and got five extra orgasms. Now, he is right where she wants him, fifty pounds lighter and locked on a one year interval with the threat that it will be 27 months if he gains back even half the weight he lost.

Men who cheated with other women rather than masturbating got very harsh treatment by their wives. Witch is why I have a problem with cockolding. Other weman who are in a chastity or female led relationship quickly talk a newcomer out of any thoughts of leniency for her husband if he had sex with another woman. Several of these males are locked up permanently with no chance of release ever as a condition of not being divorced. I have told Mark that he is lucky that he is locked up and cannot stray because I now know what can be done to an adulterous husband to make him suffer. He knows he would get the full treatment and then some.

I have found that a good baseline is to not allow double digit releases, meaning less than ten per year. You may find that you allow him to be released monthly and then decide that you would enjoy making him go for a longer period. It is alright to suddenly increase the time. He might ask why and you simply need to tell him why "because I am in control of your sexual abilities and I enjoy denying you, the longer I deny you the more your frustratingly horny and thus I feel a sense of satisfaction". Right now after coming to the view that once a year would be fun to try just to see how hard I can push him and how well he can handle it. We are eight months into it now and it has been wonderful. I have really stepped up the teasing but disciplining Mark has been hard and rewarding. The payoff is that I have had the greatest sex of my life and Mark has become sweeter and more devoted to trying to please me than I ever thought possible. Males in long term chastity may get cranky or misbehave but I've found that corporal punishment or time added works wonders.

The most common question women new to chastity ask is what type of device to put him in. The consensus advice unfortunately is to prepare yourself for some frustrating trial and error to find the right device and the right fit. There is no right device for all males. It is a bit like finding the perfect pair of shoes. The chastity device needs to be custom fit. It has to be comfortable if he is going to live with it on 24/7 and it has to be completely secure and effective if you are going to be happy with it. If he can escape than everything we've talked about wont work. That is why a piercing is absolutely necessary with a tube style device in order to insure he is chased for real. There are two basic types of devices, chastity tubes and chastity belts. The chastity tubes usually have the tube attached to a ring that goes over his cock and behind his balls. The belts goes around the waist. With a narrow tube, a good belt is very effective at preventing erections. Some belts come with attachment points so you can hook a dildo to the front shield for you to use or to insert a dildo into his anus. The main drawback with the chastity belts is that they are expensive, hard to keep clean, bulky and much less comfortable than the tube type devices men can wear. They also need to be sent back for waist adjustments if his waist size goes up or down. Most of the women I have talked with use tube style devices but there are some women with custom made belts that love them. I have Mistress Lori (chastitytube.com) number 7 which is a short straight steel tube that has a ring that goes behind the balls. Many of the other women have tube devices from Lori. Once you get the right fit with one of her cages you could lock your hubby up forever and he will never be able to masturbate again. There are men who have been locked in her tubes that have not been allowed to cum for over a decade.

It was not easy to get his tube to fit right. Many of the women have had to go through several devices or alternations to finally get the right one. A few got lucky the first time but don't count on it. The best advice here is to be patient and let your hubby put in most of the effort into getting a device that fits right. He is the one who has to wear it all the time. Have trial lock ups until he is ready to be locked up for good. Don't be surprised even then if you have to stop a week or two into the lock up to get something fixed or let the piercing toughen up some more. If there is a problem take off the device and see if it can be quickly fixed. Sometimes there is just a spot that has been rubbed raw and needs some ointment or the device left off for a couple of days.. If you have to send the device back to be altered, start the clock over when it comes back and you lock him up again. Eventually, the device kinks will get worked out. I just wish I had been aware of this when we started because there were some discouraging times until Mark was able to wear the device without problems for over a month. I slowly came to terms with being able to permanently lock him up and the satisfaction of knowing that his days of neglecting me were finally over.

For both kinds of chastity devices, there are three things to remember. First, his penis needs to be pierced so that a bar can be put through it and locked with the device. Otherwise, as many women find out the hard way, with devices that aren't secure he will figure out how to pull out his cock and whack off behind your back. Once he can do this, chastity is just a game for him. It is not real and he, not you is in control. A lot of the women I talked to initially hated the idea of getting their husband's penis pierced. Some of the women were turned off or repulsed by the thought of how it would look or what they thought it would feel like inside of them. Not one women I talked with regretted having their hubby pierced once he had been securely locked down tight in the chastity device for the initial lock up period. Getting the piercing doesn't hurt him that much and if you don't like the look or feel of the piercing then don't use him with it in. I just leave the rod from the chastity tube on the table next to the device when I take it off. With the device off, Mark has a small hole on the underside of his penis thats unnoticeable when the rod is out. Plus once you've enjoyed six months to a year of love, attention, respect, devotion, and mind blowing sex like you never new you could with his penis locked up you won't mind the piercing if it's what made it possible.

Chastity without a piercing is not chastity. If he can get out than he is in control not you. Women have tried this lifestyle In hopes of having a better relationship with there spouse only to get disheartened when they figure out he is cheating by getting out and jerking off. The advice of other women when this sort of cheating has been uncovered is always to take the man to get pierced immediately and then to lock him up after the piercing has fully healed for a year rather than six months because of the dishonesty. That is one of the ways several of us started to notice how much better a year's initial lockup worked rather than six months.

You can get him a Prince Albert or PA piercing which is a single hole (6 or 8 gauge) through the underside of his penis and out though the pee slit or a frenum piercing (6 or 8 gauge) which is sideways piercing on the underside behind the head of his penis. Both have their advantages and problems. A lot of men do not want to get a Prince Albert piercing since they now spray pee out of the bottom hole as well as the slit. This means always having to sit down to pee but they will have to do this anyway once they are permanently locked up in a chastity device. I think the women of the world would rejoice if all males were chastised and no more toilet seats were left up. A PA piercing is almost painless to get and heals fairly quickly although it can be painful for him to pee the first couple of times afterwards and it can bleed a fair amount for the first couple of days. It is best to wait at least three months to make sure it is healed before putting the chastity device on and, if it seems tender after some trial break in days, you might need to wait a month or two longer.

The frenum piercing that Mark has is less conspicuous than the ring that usually goes through the PA since it is a bar that goes through the skin underneath the penis. Its main problems are that it does not heal as quickly and the first time it is done the piercing often does what is called migrating. That is it moves forward through the skin until it breaks free or has to be taken out because it will break free. This happened to me with Mark and several of the other women I talked with had the same experience. The usual suspect for causing this problem is putting the chastity device on before the piercing has fully healed, but I think that having the first frenum piercing migrate out is almost inevitable for many men. Fortunately, he can be pierced again with another frenum behind the first one. The second one is usually charmed. It is likely to hold if you wait about four months until it is fully healed since scar tissue from the first frenum usually prevents the second one from migrating. I think that I might have gone with a PA if I had known about the problems the first frenum caused even though Mark was very reluctant to get a PA.

The frenum though does have three advantages. The big one is that it inflicts much more pain when the penis tries to become erect. This is because, as the penis gets hard, the frenum rod digs deeply into the bottom of the penis right behind the sensitive head. This makes Lori's tube with frenum a much more severe chastity device compared to one with a PA. Mark has now tasted this property of the frenum many many times and I suspect if given the choice over he would jump at the chance to have a PA rather than a frenum. I have really come to like this feature of the frenum though because I don't want Mark to be able to get hard at all even in the confined space of his chastity tube unless I decided to let him. I also think that a frenum helps to reduce your hubby's wanting to be all over you physically. This is a problem most women have once he is in chastity which is a little odd after years of little physical affection from him. This problem has to be dealt with by your being firm about what you are willing to allow and where. When I deliberately tease Mark, I sometimes pull the frenum rod out of the chastity tube as a signal that it is ok to now try to get an erection without being punished for the effort by the frenum rod. You don't need to worry though because the tube will still stop the erection from going very far and increase his frustration. One of the women I talked with, whose hubby had a problem with his PA piercing, got him pierced the second time with a frenum and put him in a tighter Lori's tube. She said with his PA tube on he still looked at porn all the time, although the PA tube had prevented him from successfully masturbating so the porn just made him hornier. The much greater pain the smaller frenum tube inflicted on any attempted erection, put a stop to his porn habit. Another upside of the frenum is that the PA bar can have a mean pinch for some men if their penis shrinks too much but the pull on the frenum is quite mild if the tube is short enough. The last advantage is that the two holes that the frenum rod goes through will close up much like an earring hole if it is not used. This would not be an issue for me now that I have seen the benefits of permanent chastity and would never go back to letting Mark freely masturbate. It might be though for a woman who initially wanted to try out a serious chastity program but was not sure it was going to work.

One of the questions that is often asked is what should you do while the piercing is healing. During the first month his penis should not have sex of any kind but after that it is ok with a condom. You can use this time period when the piercing is healing to get him started on pleasuring you. This seems to work well. Most importantly is that you and him let it heal completely.

The second thing you need with a chastity device is to get him in the smallest tube his penis will fit in while soft so he can't get an erection in the device. Because a small tube quickly limits the growth of his penis it also keeps the pressure off the piercing. Often the original tube ordered turned out to be too wide or too long because of the male's optimistic measurements or fear of being too confined. After a while in a chastity tube, the penis has a tendency to shrink a bit which makes the getting the right sizing initially difficult. Males who are growers, those whose penis is very small but grows large, are much harder to fit than those who are showers, those whose penis gets hard but not larger. If you get the tube too small his penis will get fluid retention which is called edema but otherwise, smaller is better. You want him completely dependent on you for getting an erection and a smaller tube will actually be more comfortable after he has adjusted to it. A loose tube can also allow enough growth from an erection that with sliding the ring can hurt the testicles.

The last thing is that the device needs to prevent him from rubbing his penis particularly the head. Many males if they can rub the head can cum although it is a pretty frustrating orgasm almost akin to milking and hence not much to worry about except that you want him completely under your control. Chastity belts work best on this account since they completely deny access to the penis. If you get a Lori's tube or one of its competitors make sure you get it with extra bars over the penis head area.

From time to time you might find it necessary to punish him for what ever reason, he might refuse to provide you with sexual pleasure as instructed or he spoke to you in a negative or degrading way; there are certainly many possible infractions. The most effective punishment is to increase his time of confinement; this should always be done in at least a week increment but you will probably find that additions of two weeks or a month will be more effective unless you like having him continually testing you, which I don't. As an example let's say he was in a bad mood and failed to enthusiastically provide oral sex to you one evening. If this happens it is imperative that you do what he would not. Masturbate yourself to as many orgasms as you like, he may then attempt to provide for you but you must not allow him to. After you have satisfied yourself let him know that his bad behavior requires that he be punished and that you have decided that an additional month will be added to the time that is already required. If he gives you any argument, add two or three months to his lock up time.

Different from failing to do something is a sort of agitation that many males including mine sometimes get when they are in chastity as a result of their sexual frustration. Most of the time this finds a positive outlet in terms of showering you with attention, but sometimes your hubby will just need to be toned down. Good old fashion discipline in the form of corporal punishment is what works well. Almost all the women I have talked with know their husbands are submissive to them but they are not wimps. In other parts of their life they tend to be dominant type A-personalities who exert lots of authority and are often high strung.

I use to think that disciplining my hubby was a chore. Now when I beat him long and hard he sometimes just melts under my cane and breaks down and cries. Afterward, I hold him tight in my arms for a long time and then have him go down on me. The feeling I get is hard to describe. It is almost magical. I feel sorry for all those wives who will never experience moments of this intense closeness with their husbands. Don't let anger poison your authority. Never make a rash decision when you are angry with him. Be cold, methodical, strict, and yes even cruel with the serious punishment he sometimes richly deserves but be fair and unclouded by anger.

If you think you might be tempted to let your hubby out early have a girlfriend you trust hold the keys or get a safety deposit box only you have access to.

Prostate milking is a necessity if your male is locked up for over a month otherwise his prostate can get clogged up and his chance of getting prostate cancer increase. Milking causes a release of semen clearing out the prostrate but provides none of the satisfaction of an orgasm. A male is usually even more frustrated after a milking than before because he has been stimulated similar to an orgasm but not allowed to have it. Milking also helps to prevent nocturnal or spontaneous orgasms which can happen if he is locked up long enough without being milked or allowed to cum. There are a number of ways to do it and milking is psychologically more effective if the chastity device is left on. Some of the women use a rubber glove or anal probe specially designed for the purpose. This works but is slow and tedious. Using a strap-on and taking your man anally also works well if you go at it long enough and figure out how to stimulate his prostrate. This is a favorite of many of the women I have talked with. I give it a go every so often particularly when I want some penetration.

You can also use an electrical stimulation device. This is usually a quick and almost clinical procedure if done right. It is what I typically do since I usually like to think of milking as something that should be done for medical reasons without even a hint of sexual enjoyment for him. I have a PES or tens unit which requires two attachments to complete the circuit. One of the attachments is an anal probe that slides right in with some lube and hits the prostate. The other is a strap that goes around his balls. I put him in a humbler on his hands and knees. Then, I turn up the dials to the right frequency, which I had to experiment with some to find, and the semen just steadily drips out. Corporal punishment administered after a milking is more effective. Prostate milking is a wonderful thing to do and it is hard to over do. The semen drooling out will reduce the male's testosterone level though so he will be more mellow and docile after the milking. If you think that he is getting testy just put him on the milking stand and pump it out.

There may be times where you feel you have to unlock him to use his penis. Fortunately, there is a way to do this without letting him orgasm by using numbing creme or spray and a condom. This usually works but there is always a small risk that he will cum especially if he has been locked for a long time. There are other alternatives that allow penetration without this risk. The easiest way is to have him wear a strap-on dildo. There are also a number of double sided penis gags that you can use to ride his face and there is even a dildo you can strap around his thigh. The most fiendish devices are those that fit over his penis or cage. He will be a wreck as there is no way the Lori's tube will let him get erect but his mind and body will just keep on trying. Ultimately use your imagination and have as much fun as you want and no worries that he will cum at all, much less too soon.

Every so often I and many of the women I have talked with want the real thing. To make these rare opportunities to have intercourse with you work for both of you, you need to recognize that after being locked up for a long time he will cum with a hair trigger. He is also unlikely to get as large as he did before long term chastity. You can avoid disappointment if you stimulate him to orgasm in some way other than intercourse when you first let him out of the tube. Some of the women use their hubbies for intercourse for several days in a row treating the whole event as a single release period before they lock him back up for a prolonged duration.

The big changes that you must make in yourself in order to make a chastity relationship work is to commit to frequently teasing him, like you no doubt did when you first dated, and to having much more frequent sex yourself. The two can be one and the same. Having him perform cunnalingus on you while locked up is almost guaranteed to make him drip. Just think the more sex you get without letting him cum the more he wants you. If women knew this secret there wouldn't be any unlocked husbands or boyfriends and how much better would the world be.

Remember you have all the time in the world to train him to do what you want without any need to worry about getting him off. Once locked all he does is fantasize about you. You will need to decide if you want to be the one that initiates sex or whether you want him to. My usual rule with Mark is that I will tell him when and how I want to be pleasured and he is expected to drop everything for this to happen. This is clearly a control issue for me but your tastes may differ. The point you want is when you get your hubby to a place where he gets pleasure purely from your pleasure without thinking about his cock. Mark is not quite there yet but he is getting there.

There are almost an infinite number of ways that you can tease him. There is the classic tie him down to the bed, take off the tube and work over his cock for hours. Every time you feel him close to an orgasm stop and straddle his face and have one or more yourself. Stay with it as long as you can and you will leave him a marshmallow. You may find that you have to ice down his penis to get it back in the tube. Dress up in a way that drives him crazy and stand him at attention nude in his chastity tube while you softly stroke him all over except for ignoring his cock. He will struggle to stand tall as his cock struggles to grow in the chastity tube. Every woman needs to develop her own style. You can keep things fresh by continuing to experiment. It may seem like a lot of work but he will shower you with attention.

If he doesn't already, he will see you as his Goddess after you have locked him up for a while. He has agreed to being locked up because he wants to want you that badly again. You need to recognize that you are a goddess to him but you also need to figure out how to channel his attention in directions that are good and work for you. Those ideas may be very different from his ideas of how he should worship you, but this is an area where your desires comes first and you need to maintain strict control if you are going to be happy with the chastity arrangement.

While it is hard to do too much physical teasing, conversation, by far, plays the bigger part. It takes very little energy and allows you to increase his frustration without having to do anything. Telling him what you like about his predicament, letting him know how much you appreciate what he has done to become a better spouse, partner, friend and lover. Let him know how his being chaste turns you on, if seeing him struggle thru sexual frustration entertains you let him know. Maybe you enjoy his not being able to touch himself, whatever it is communicate it. You should also not forget that all of those things that use to drive you crazy like porn and ogling pretty young things can now be used against him. There is nothing like knowing that the chastity tube is really biting as his favorite eye candy passes by. The beauty of a good chastity device is that not only does it prevent him from getting an erection and masturbating but that the device is always working for you. It stimulates him at the first sign of arousal and then quickly constrains the budding erection.

It is understandable that there may be days that you want to ignore his situation. It is alright to not care about his penis or chastity for a couple of days. You can tell him that he is no longer in control of his manhood and you can let him know that. Still you should not let this go for more than a few days without making positive comments about his being locked up for you. The main thing if you are going to lock him up is that you need to make a commitment to yourself and him to make this work. I have told women who were thinking about chastity that if they were not willing to take control of the teasing, discipline and the frequency with which they had sex and the effort this entails that they might be better off in their old relationship where he ignored you and you ignored him and or you two fought all the time. There is a way to get what you want but it will not happen by itself. He cannot change himself, but a chastity device and a lot of hard work on your part can mold him into the husband you want back or have always dreamed about and a relationship you will never want to lose.

As the endeavor into chastity continues you will be able to add ideas and musings to your relationship that you find works well. Remembering the basic principles of how to keep your hubby under your spell will let you, and him, discover chastity's amazing rewards. Always maintain the upper hand, do those things to show both you and him that your requests are nothing less than a requirement for him. You will never want to let things revert back to his "lack of" control again. Believe me, the routine is effective and over the long term you won't regret it, even though at times its a lot of work.

There is an old saying among those wives who adopted a chastity lifestyle because their husbands encouraged them - be careful what you wish for. I think some of the husbands given a choice would go back to their old ways, but none of the wives would. Reality is different than their fantasy because it is now your fantasy not his.

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Page last updated 2016-Jan-07 by: Altairboy@aol.com