Novice Domme's Experience With D/s and Chastity

My husband j and I have been married for over 15 years and have had a reasonably good sex life. I am 39 and j is 44. About 5 years ago I discovered his interest in D/s in the same way a lot of wives do - the computer trail. We had it out several times as I felt very threatened by this interest. I had no experience and frankly did not want to know much. Almost a year later I discovered that despite his promises he was still visiting D/s sites and I told him it was the D/s or me. He chose me but I knew that something was missing so we talked for several weeks about his D/s experiences (quite a few over 25 years) and I agreed to play Domme to his sub. For the next 2 years we played with bondage, servitude and mild discipline. I never truly got into it and j was still feeling unsatisfied.

A little over 2 years ago we decided to give D/s a real try - not every other month for a night or two but on a permanent 24/7 basis. If it worked great. If not we both agreed it wasn't meant to be. It began with j handing me 100% control of our sex life. I enjoyed having him please me before he got relief and I also enjoyed dropping the bondage and discipline in favour of pure control. j still felt he needed more and my confidence and comfort level with control increased to the point where last summer (2004) I also added control of the household chores and personal service to me. Now I delegated the majority (not all) of the housework to j, inspected his work and insured he met deadlines for his chores. As well, he started to dress and undress me, bathe me, wash my hair and massage me whenever I required his services.

As time wore on I realized that I was now an actual Dominant and he was virtually my slave. For reasons I can't explain I brought discipline back into our relationship even though I was the one who had originally dropped it. At first it was mainly for punishment but now it is also for my enjoyment. Whether it be OTK spankings with my paddle or hairbrush or a hard paddling or cropping for poor service I now actually enjoy inflicting a certain amount of pain.

In September I found out that j continued to masturbate a great deal and told him that I expected him to cum with my permission only. He felt that he was "too weak" to be reliable and showed me a variety of chastity sites on the internet. To make a long story short we ordered a cb2k chastity cage and began experimenting. At first j wore it for about 3 hours each evening. I would tie him and tease him to a painful attempt at an erection and occasionally allow him relief afterwards.

By late November j could do an entire day and sleep in it but constant burning and irritation of the scrotum prevented longer term wear. Despite this j promised that as a Christmas present to his loving Mistress he would wear it 24/7 as of December 25, 2004. This has not come true but we continue to stretch the lock time. j is now in his cb2k 24/7 for 3 days and out of it for 1 to 3 days depending on the discomfort. We have been on this cycle for the past month but the burning, the irritation and the pain continue after several days. j has testicles that hang very close to his body which makes the cb2k less then ideal for him. We continue to use it because it can be worn long term, is reasonably priced, is not detectable and it is lightweight. We may switch to the cb3k in the future but I would want to know it is a better fit for tight ball sacs.

Well, it is April 2005 and although we have a long way to go in completing j's conversion to 24/7 chaste slave we have come a long, long way. I now control all aspects of our homelife. While j has input in everything I make all the final decisions. I control our finances, household duties, sex life, major purchases, j's time and most of all - his cock. My one problem is the 3 day maximum on enforced chastity. :-( j also has many rules to live by that he did not have before. I am addressed as Mistress at all times when we are alone. In public he defers to me on all decisions. I order his meals in restaurants and pay the bill. I give him a weekly allowance and require him to request permission to go out with friends. At home he does almost all of the housework and I do not spare the rod if things are not up to standard. In public j is a gentleman. At friends homes he sits on the floor at my feet whenever that is possible and discreetly asks permission to use the bathroom, have a drink or eat his meal.

Our friends do not know we are Mistress and slave but they do know he is there to make my life better. In addition to his rules at home he must keep his cock and balls clean shaven and wear a pair of female panties at all times. j no longer has male underwear. My only problem is how to get the chastity up to 24/7. When that happens I will truly be able to regulate orgasms and ensure he is not playing with my toy. Sex for j now is normally a hand job after which he must lick up his cum. If I allow him to penetrate me he must lick his cum from my pussy. I enjoy his oral skills daily and allow him to penetrate me only 1 or 2 times a month. I on the other hand penetrate him with my strap on at least twice a week.

What I wanted to do is let all you vanilla women like the old me know that there is a way to get involved with D/s at a level that's comfortable to you - not to your husband. I also hope that I will find how to get j into 24x7 chastity.

Abby

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Page last updated 05-Jun-14 by: Altairboy@aol.com