How to stop lying (or The punished liar): A true storySubmitted by: BevThis story may strike a chord with some women out there and I should say that they shouldn’t be afraid to test out different things to get the man they want. 99 times out of 100 it turns out to be the man they already have and they can in fact make the grass greener on this side if they put a little effort in for a lot of gain. This story is completely autobiographical and, as such, please feel free to contact me to comment about what is written below: It was the straw that broke the camel’s back; I had had enough and finally got to the end of my tether. I decided that his never-ending string of lies was ruining our marriage and something needed to be done to avoid divorce. Over many years my husband had told small white lies and large whoppers simply to avoid any confrontation with me or any arguments about anything he had done. He resorted to anything from lying about his lunch-hours to lying about how many lager cans had escaped the fridge into his gut. Some were minor and pointless but every single untruth built up and up into a feeling that just I couldn’t trust him to speak the truth about anything. As you all know, when this simple element of trust is damaged it can be difficult to repair. However, not impossible! This feeling was rotting our relationship to the core and this naturally had a domino effect on other parts of our relationship. It got me to the point where I just couldn’t fancy him any more. Over the months / years he had just turned into a guy I saw at home every evening and slept in the same bed with. Sex, as it had become, had dwindled to a routine bonk whenever we both felt like it, which wasn’t often. Not to say that, when we did it, it was great and reminded us both of what we had been depriving ourselves and made the current situation even more frustrating. Something had to give and, like some people here, that happened on the day I stumbled across a website where other women were having the same issues as me. In their case some of their husbands were being unfaithful but in all cases, including mine, all their husbands’ lives revolved around what was in their pants. Now we had always had an active sex life but I have always found that my husband’s attention (to me) span is in direct proportion to how recently he has had an orgasm. Therefore my dilemma was that, the more sex we did have, the less attentive and loving he was. When he hadn’t had any for a week, he would be all over me to create ways to get his rocks off. He always told me that he didn’t like to masturbate but I also assumed that was another lie to make me feel better. I had also read that men had a discharge of chemicals in their orgasm, which made them feel satisfied after having their way with a sexual partner. Their increasing efforts to woo this partner end at the point of orgasm and conquest, hence the tendency to lose interest at that point and, while there was a build up of testosterone between orgasms, not coming made them want to do so even more and woo the partner accordingly. Therefore, the cycle of build-up and orgasm grew if there was a lengthy gap in between, resulting in increased attentiveness. What I found seemed to agree with this and suggest ways of using this to my advantage. The website I found was nearly hidden in a long list of other sites which came up after I was searching for somewhere to give advice on dealing with deceit in a relationship. Along with many marriage guidance sites was one on controlling your husband through control of his spiralling libido. Intrigued, I entered and came across a world of dominant or frustrated women who had taken control of their men by restricting their orgasms through chastity. I had always been quite open-minded about sex and my husband liked me to be a dominant partner occasionally but this was way out there as far as I was concerned. I was going to exit when I came across a letter from a reader stating that her abusive (loud), lying husband had been turned into a loving, caring man purely by caging his penis for months on end. She had purchased a chastity belt years ago and, through a simple series of rewards and punishments, had turned a cynical, orgasm-led man into a loving puppy-dog, who would do most anything for her. The good thing was that it didn’t break his spirit and turn him into someone too docile but enough to keep him under control. At this point my interest was roused and I spent the next few days sifting through this site and then many others (including your own fine site Altairboy) and decided to follow the advice of literally hundreds of women and get my man’s penis caged. It seemed to me that rather than a sexual thing, which most people would believe, this is more of a lifestyle choice. While many uninformed people (which included myself) would believe that this is a strange sexual fetish, once a man has his penis taken away and orgasms removed, it is exactly the opposite to sexual as there can be none for him at all. Ultimately the control of such a powerful force as a man’s sexual lust becomes that of the woman. She retains the power of man’s sexual desire and uses it to service her own needs, usually non-sexual. A cycle of lies and deceit can be broken for good by switching that control. Where the element of sexuality comes into it is by the woman using the man’s sexual desires to secure his increasing attention. His willingness to serve his wife increases and he treats her as he promised under his marriage vows. I’m not suggesting men will stray if not satisfied but, by locking away that ability to be generally deceitful, women can relax in the knowledge that her husband’s previous transgressions, including lying in my case, will gently slow to zero. Yes, it can be that powerful. I scanned many articles about belts and cages and came down on the side of belts. This was purely a personal choice based on the needs I had. I felt that a cage seemed more temporary (probably untrue) and that a full belt would seem much more permanent and a much better statement of intent on my part. As you all know there are numerous to choose from but Neosteel had a large choice for a first time user and I was happy to pay slightly more than average, as this was to be a one-off move to improve my marriage. I printed out the measurements needed for a Sports Belt and then used the next few days / weeks playing games with my husband to get some good measurements. I realised that this was not a perfect scenario and I was leaving myself open to a disappointing fit but lack of accuracy was a necessary sacrifice I was prepared to accept. Obviously the waist and penis measurements were easiest, while measuring through the crotch to the back took some imagination. However, if these are all done one at a time, rather than all at once there can be little chance of the person guessing what is going on. Finally finishing the measurements and checking off a few I was not certain of I took the plunge and ordered the belt. It took longer than I had hoped but I was quite excited when it turned up. I didn’t want to get too overexcited until it was all in place but I was looking forward with some anticipation to what would take place. I arranged for my man to come home early with the promise of some fun and proceeded to tie him down straight away and very securely. I didn’t want him to be able to get out of this until everything was locked up. I gagged him to avoid any pointless arguments and the embarrassment of explaining to the neighbours what was going on. I fitted the actual belt as soon as he was down and, after applying some genital ice to cool his spirits, popped his old man into its new metal home. I think now that I was slightly cruel to not give him another orgasm prior to doing this but I wanted the immediate effect of this rather than wait for another week for a build up of interest. I quickly put everything else in place and locked it all up. It couldn’t have taken any more than a few minutes, even including some moaning and thrashing around by my husband when he realised what was going on. He was blindfolded so he realised too late in his case. Now, I should have mentioned this earlier, but I would advise any women thinking of the same thing to ensure that they do NOT have the key in the house for this. Knowing that there is no escape at all for at least one day gives the man the impression that he can handle the situation for 24 hours and all will be good with the world tomorrow. Let him have this thought and even tell him this if you want, if it calms down the initial resistance. I told my husband that this was for his own good and that I would release him for orgasm should he stop lying to me, start showing my more respect and stop taking me for granted. Well, we had an hour or 2 of sulking but after the initial shock had worn off he got down to giving me some attention for the night. You can’t believe the joy and bliss of having a kiss and cuddle without having to feel pressured into sex afterwards. The immediate impact of this was giving me a warm glow. Many a night we had avoided any intimacy because of what he assumed was a right to mount me after a quick snog. Another important thing to remember is to have a strict punishment / reward structure in place which should be adhered to absolutely without exception. I’ve read of people using dice to determine release, electronic key holders and all sorts of imaginative ways but I stuck to a simple "1 lie, 2 days" method at first. I’ll come to the downside in a little bit. Remember, this isn’t a child or a pet; this is your husband who has stupid hormones driving his personality. He spent 4 solid days in the belt the first time due to 2 pointless lies. It is quite incredible how much extra focus and attention is paid to what comes out of his mouth since he knew for sure I was serious about this. His release was subject to being strapped down and masturbated by me, cleaned and put back in, all inside 10 minutes. This may seem harsh but, if all he wants is to come then so be it, I wasn’t interested in making it too enjoyable. I realised that the point of all this was to reduce lying but, if he was going to get out every other night by being good, he would get more orgasms that he did now, which defeated the object if I needed him on the edge of frustration. Therefore, on locking the device again I told him that I had upped the punishment to 2-week minimum plus 1 week per lie to further focus his mind. In addition to this he now had a list of household chores which failure to perform would also result in extra days / weeks of imprisonment. At first he was pretty awful at this, maybe because he just didn’t think me strong-willed enough to keep him in it. It was a bit of a joke, a bit of a laugh. Maybe that first 4 days had seemed easy and he had got out quite soon after being put in. One day, 10 days into the new period, it came to a head and he had not done anything at all around the house. He stated that the "joke was over" and why didn’t I just let him out. He said I had made my point and he would be nicer going forward. I thought, "the cheeky b*****d!" I kept my temper in check but quietly stated that he had just earned an entire month of confinement for that little outburst of rebellion. The look on his face was quite a picture as the thought of 4 whole weeks without an orgasm slowly filtered through to his brain. I reminded him that it was a month from then, not from 10 days ago. A month later when he was to get out he was climbing the wall with excitement. The frustration he went through during that extra month was a revelation to behold and by the end he was doing literally anything for me. Have you ever had a man gagging to come in bed, on the edge of frustration and dying to burst? Don’t they say and promise some daft things at that point? Well, multiply this tenfold and you have an idea of how submissive and controllable he had now become. The funny thing was, he eagerly let himself be tied down and must have taken less than a minute to come. It was joyous to watch as the post-orgasm downer hit him and he realised that those 30 seconds had not been that special after all and he was now going back to square one. He pleaded with me to leave the belt off but (and you would be proud of me) I stood firm and put him right back in it again. Now I may have been slightly nasty at this point but I managed to constantly find reasons for a delay in letting him out. Orgasms just don’t suit him and he is a nicer person having that build up. Now I wouldn’t expect him to be like this without the belt, as he would just rub that cock up against me at any point until I gave in. Now, however, I have the control and the power over this now. As Spiderman said, "with great power comes great responsibility" and this could be said of a woman’s power during male chastity. A man derives a phenomenal amount of pleasure from those few seconds of orgasm and will do many things to please his wife to gain access to those feelings. Now it is also a woman’s right to feel those emotions on a regular basis and this was one of the downsides to me. The problem with having my loving husband back is that I started fancying him much more again. However, I was in a Catch 22 situation whereby I couldn’t let him make love to me without letting him out and giving him release but I also needed some manly cock inside me quite desperately. I didn’t want to have to go and find another man for this, as I don’t trust anyone enough to just do me and go. Therefore, God bless strap-on dildoes! I saw that one Neosteel belt came with a strap-on dildo attachment and thought that my husband could put something similar over the top of his belt. So, I decided to take a punt on buying a strap-on. There are some extensive choices on the market now and some of the materials they use nowadays are so lifelike, you leave it in the airing cupboard to warm up and you have a hot, soft, unquenchable shag waiting for you. My husband took some persuading to put it on over the belt but some soft threats soon sorted that out. He needed to satisfy his wife and couldn’t be trusted to last long enough on his own. Additionally, if he didn’t satisfy me, why should I let him out and satisfy him? Now the dildo I bought was deliberately longer and thicker than him and the size I’d always wished he were. Well, I tell you that night was something quite spectacular! My husband is fit and athletic and, without the worry of his own orgasm forcing him to slow down every few minutes, he rogered me to heaven and back. I have never craved for cock as much as I did that night and, with a condom on the dildo it felt so incredibly real. I couldn’t tell the difference between it and a real cock, I swear. The only thing that was missing was the clean up of the mess afterwards. No real loss there, then! The additional benefits were the longer hug at the end and the extra affection from my man because he hadn’t come. I’ve since added a vibration to the belt, which works my husband up even more. He and his new manhood are everything I need now. I sometimes go down on his "cock" to tease him to shag me harder. With all this being said it now brings me to my current dilemma: Pros of chastity:
Cons:
I have now started milking him to relieve some of the pressure of his longer stays in the belt and this has the added benefit of him not feeling like a proper release, just more build-up of frustration and therefore more dedication to me. Weighing up the many plusses and one minus I say to all you women out there that I would recommend a belt to everyone! You may be timid and shy and not very open-minded about this sort of thing but who cares? Take charge of the one aspect of his life that you do not currently control (his cock) and get the man and husband you deserve. You may think you have control but any man who can get his hand around his shaft has that control right now. My husband knows that he is a better person for this experience and now loves me more now than he ever did, for taking the care to improve our marriage. This is not the belt talking but his real feelings now that he doesn’t have to worry about sex. He works harder, is more successful and doesn’t lose his temper or get frustrated any more. He thinks about others and is more considerate to other people’s feelings. He still disagrees with me but not in an argumentative way, just as part of a normal discussion. If voices start rising I remind him of his predicament. I’ve decided that, if I ever do find the need for the services of a real cock there are plenty out there to choose from and my husband has said I can get off this way if I really need to. It is only sex after all! I doubt I will take up the option but it does help to know that I can have another real cock throbbing in my hand or mouth again if I want, just for kicks. I’m not sure I have that much interest in seeing that tacky white stuff outside of our reward scheme but who knows? Therefore, having said all this, I have finally reached quite a strong decision. I have weighed up the need for real cock against the benefits gained from not having it and the minuses are too few to even move me away from what I have now decided. That is to cement the lock shut with epoxy glue and leave him in it for good. I will glue the lock, insert the key to glue it in place, snap it in the lock then glue over what’s left. This sounds quite drastic but we have now found a life beyond sex that I have always dreamed of. I couldn’t forgive myself if I went back to how we were. Without doubt my life has changed for the better and it shows that chastity is not necessarily a sexual fantasy but can be so much more for a fulfilling life. Thank you all on this site for the good advice within the stories and letters.
Bev I would be interested in comments from any of you now my life is so good. I’ll be doing the gluing over Christmas so feel free to cast your votes either way if you have an opinion on it. I very much doubt it will change my mind but I do have an interest in a third-party view.
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