The Road to SubmissionSubmitted by: BillSetting the scene It all started with the playful suggestion by my girlfriend Janine that in her absence she would like me to wear her panties. In that way I would be constantly reminded of her and of her love and she would feel much happier as a result. As we were living in different countries at the time and only saw each other from time to time I readily agreed. Playful it might have been, but little did I know where this road would ultimately lead. A little later she asked me to surf the web for her and asked me to tell her which sites would appeal to me. She wanted me to reveal to her my inner most thoughts and desires in order that she might use them to further deepen our relationship. I emailed her information about the Real Women Don't Like Housework site, a mild fem-dom site. She replied by email at length later that evening: "William, I am, as you are beginning to find out, very much taken with this idea of exercising erotic power as a means of obtaining your submission. I want us to talk at length about it when we next meet. I have in my mind a picture of you sitting at my feet, benefiting from my caresses as we talk about this and as you generally open up to me. From what I have gathered so far this offers a way of living, which would suit me (and therefor you) very well. It is easy to imagine you carrying out a few chores in order that you might benefit from my sexual attention. I want you to understand the boundaries and I want to establish what works best. You will learn how to treat me and you will appreciate the rewards I will offer you (and conversely the punishment if necessary). The fact that at present we live in different countries makes things tricky, but as a start you should at least realize that what happens when we do meet up is entirely dependent on the preceding weeks or months. Similarly, you will find I will be receptive to the idea of meeting again and more often if it works. I like your choice of website. How very in tune it is with my thoughts. Yes, humiliation is an exciting and tricky one. It is the fine line between making the threat and carrying it out, so easy to judge things wrong and risk crossing the line. Imagine if you will how only minor disagreement in a public place or maybe your merely causing irritation could lead to me having to remind you out loud whose panties you are wearing. A few carefully chosen but unmistakable words. Who knows? We could be at the checkout paying for something, at the bar in a pub, out for dinner with mutual friends. My irritation threshold is occasionally extremely low. How nice it would be to remind you, with maybe only a look or whisper how close you are to the humiliation. Then of course there will be the times when I am not there but still you would be at risk of discovery, if only because you would not be able to prevent your mind from wandering and we both know what effect that would have. My mind is working overtime and I look forward to the future with some relish at the thought of your discomfort. Yes, we must make sure you understand the rules and I need to explore your new apartment with you in tow." She had me hooked and we both knew it. Slowly but surely I was being drawn into her web of power and submission. Travelling the road After a couple of weeks Janine felt I had got sufficiently used to wearing her panties all the time and she decided to introduce a new element. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was not allowed to come in her absence. In her words, I should keep everything for her and not waste my precious sperm by jerking off unless she specifically demanded it. I was so in love with her that I readily agreed. Of course I agreed. Janine emailed me back kindly: "I explained at the outset that you might find my discipline extremely hard at times. This is one of those occasions. You have been allowed the supreme privilege of wearing my panties. While you are wearing them you can spend some time thinking of me. However, our new arrangement begins immediately and you are now not permitted relief until I say so. It will be good for you to wake tomorrow morning, hard and wanting me as a severe reminder of my authority. Do not question my decision and instead if you thank me you will find me more benevolent." This was the true start of her sexual control over me. Two or three days later I had dared to challenge some of Janine's views in an email to her. Not long after the phone rang: "William, dear, I am not very pleased with you. I have determined a fitting punishment for your misdemeanor. It makes me very hot at the slightest thought of it, obviously this is the main aim. You, I am sure will protest, after all it will turn me on, not you, but I am afraid it is absolutely the only way. When next time we arrive at your apartment you will remove all your clothes. I do not want to have to tell you to do this. You must determine from my mood and my look when it is the right time. You will then give me the lead, naturally you will need to buy one, which to tie securely around your balls and by which I will take you in a firm tow around the apartment of which you are so proud. Did I mention that your hands will be tied behind your back? Once I have seen what I want to see I would like you to lie over my knees in order that I might spank you. You know how much I want to do this and equally I know you detest it. This will be your punishment for letting me down so badly. Once your cheeks are red and you are begging me to stop, I will allow you to place your head between my thighs while we have a little talk. It would not of course be appropriate for you to receive any further sexual attention from me at this stage, you will need to consider your punishment for a little while and see how best you can please me during the course of the morning before we `move to the bedroom'. One final thing, if you please me during the whole day it might be an appropriate occasion for a golden shower. Never forget: You are mine and need to be reminded as I see fit." Over the course of the following weeks I tried as good as I could to follow her lead and to anticipate her moods. Meanwhile Janine continued to instruct me about my new role in our relationship. "William, I am very pleased with the way you have so eagerly accepted this discipline. Key to all of this is the way in which you interpret my needs and act upon them. As we discussed, I will lead you but it will be to a to a place you will want to be. You will want to do these things for me and it is from that that we will derive satisfaction. You must realize that taking control of when you can come and only requiring you to exercise iron will in order not to come is a first step. In time you will no doubt discover that any form of deception will only lead to your own disappointment. I do expect you to ask my permission and you must learn to accept my denial. When I do consent you will feel the benefits, and I will grow further in your estimation. Beyond that there will have to be a stricter discipline. We shall come to this. I find the idea of a chastity device to which I hold the key wildly exciting and not surprisingly it has begun to feature in my fantasies. I will be happy to share them with you at some point. I do not think it would be necessary for long periods of time, but we shall have to wait and see. Related and unrelated to all of the above is the fact that at times you will fail to please me. There are many different ways and rules you will need to anticipate and follow and sadly, for you, you may find it is impossible to get it right all of the time. Here you have begun to discover my discipline will manifest itself in very different and less comfortable ways." And then suddenly one day like a bolt out of the blue I received the following message from Janine: "William, it has come to my attention that in certain circumstances it may be appropriate to draw up a contract between the partner in chastity and their `key holder'. It might for example specify when the chaste partner might expect to be allowed to orgasm and what behavior would be expected to guarantee it. We should discuss this. A contract could cover any number of things and time scales. I would like to receive your draft as soon as possible." A contract?! I had no real idea what she meant, but I wanted to satisfy her wishes. Feverishly I started drawing up a list of things that readily came to mind:
House rules
I dated and signed the document and hugely excited I emailed it to Janine. I did not have to wait very long for her response. Reading it I could imagine a huge smile on her face: "William, this is an excellent start. You have been very thorough and have listened carefully to what I have been saying over the last few weeks. Obviously I will need to consider it for a while and add and remove as necessary. What you may not have realized was that yesterday evening I was engaged in drawing up a similar list. The similarities are uncanny. We will talk about it in more detail when we are together, what I would add now is:
I realize that all this is difficult for you to begin with. But you as you know it is essential that you comply with my wishes. This discipline is a trial of your will power and your obedience. In pleasing me you will ultimately be a great deal happier. Please make sure you have copies of this and other relevant letters between us in order that I may talk to you about them when we see each other over the weekend. All of your suggestions fit well with my thoughts and of course you can well imagine that there are some particular favorites." A couple of days later I switched on the computer and received more written instructions: "William, there are also these 'plug' things which can be worn when out and about, which one day I should like you to wear when perhaps we are at a restaurant with friends etc. I am sure you can forget you are wearing my panties but will not be able to forget the feeling a butt plug would bring. On the surface everything would appear completely normal but when you caught my eye we would both know of this extra dimension. Sexual activity on your part except with my prior permission or to satisfy my own needs has become a thing of the past. My pleasure has become the priority. Your pleasure will increase as a result. You will more and more want to do this for me and will learn, occasionally the hard way, what is best. Obviously, there would be times when a chastity device would be the only answer and I am sure you would soon see it as a reward. This is making me extremely hot at the prospect. I think at this distance you may not imagine quite how thorough and inventive I would be. We can talk about this further tonight. They important thing to remember is that it is only this evening that I will decide if indeed I am happy to let you come. When I do we might discuss how your desire might have been best satisfied had I been there in person." A week later again Janine pressed further : "William, I am convinced that when we are together on a more permanent basis it will be essential for you to wear a chastity device for periods of time. The length of which I will determine and you will accept without question. But I also do not think our present distance need prevent us from taking this step at an earlier stage, my fantasies do not appreciate being made to wait too long. I have already asked you to buy a butt plug. This is very important. There will be occasions when I will require you to wear it as an act of penance and a reminder of your position. As I said before control of your sexual activity has passed to me and only me, the more that I am with you the greater the control you can expect. It is very pleasing to be treated in this manner. You may expect me to be extremely firm with you and to test your resolve on many occasions. You, however, understand the rewards and conversely the punishments, well enough to make it work. Never forget that I love you." At this ending I beamed. She could do everything that she wanted. Her love and submitting to her will was all that I was interested in. A week later I talked to Janine on the phone and she steered the conversation towards the subject of me wearing her panties: "Yes, William. I am expecting you to wear my panties all of the time, not nearly all the time. The 'nearly' is irritating as is your repeated questioning of my instructions. I have decided it would be helpful for you if we were to have a 'discussion' about The Rules and our respective roles under our arrangement in the next few days. As a gentle reminder, I would like you to work on a brief statement regarding your position, in order to reassure me. Write a brief paragraph or two reminding me of your role; the rewards of restraint; the need for obedience and the consequences of your failure. This is not a game, take your time, be certain I will be receptive not only to the contents but to the tone and mood of your statement. My reaction and judgement will directly effect your position. Your reply on this matter will be on my computer by 10am on Thursday morning. Ultimately, do not forget you are mine - because I say so, William. No doubt you would like to know that I have scheduled you for relief at the end of the week. I am satisfied with the acquired butt plug. The sensations are what I would expect and to some extent you make me jealous. However, you must comply with my wishes and not make use of this toy without my express permission. Remember that it is a method of my reminding you of your position. I and only I am in the position to allow you this pleasure. I will permit it when I consider it necessary. Now this evening I will require you to wear the butt plug when you go for a meal with your friends. And I want a full report afterwards. By the way do you know I am wearing my black leather boots today? They feel very comfortable and restricting round the ankle. Next time I would appreciate it if you would polish them for me. They need a bit of a shine." Unfortunately due to a number of stupid selfish reasons I failed to meet her specified 10.00 am Thursday target. I had to pay for it dearly. I was denied relief for the longest period yet and when I saw Janine the next time she immediately made sure I really felt that I was paying for it for. On walking through my front door she proceeded to my living room and sat down on the couch and glared at me: "I want you completely undressed and over my knee now!" Meekly I complied and with great vigour she rapidly started beating my backside with a wooden kitchen spoon. I was on fire and half-crying I kept promising her that I would amend my ways and that I would ensure that it would not happen again. Finally Janine seemed satisfied and she let me stand in the corner naked for fifteen minutes in order for me to `cool off'. Several days after this incident I received a somewhat omnious email from her: "William, despite having got off to a good start my day appears to be going down hill, thanks to two slightly grumpy communications from work. So despite a lovely note from you it has to be said I am in an unusually bad mood. You will need to use your charm to help me out of it and beware how you treat me. The words egg shells and treading on come to mind." At the end of that week Janine was in her usual determined mood. She was adamant in taking my submission yet a step further. I was ordered to buy a chastity belt at the earliest convenience. I knew of a special shop for sex toys in Amsterdam and decided to give them a ring. They might sell male chastity belts. The lady who took the call had to laugh in a friendly way when I quickly and rather quietly mentioned chastity belts for men. Without prompting she told me that her slave wore a CB2000 and that that worked very well for them. He had ordered it on the internet from America. And he had received it within a week. It was reasonable priced and was certainly better than anything that would be available in sex shops locally. I told her that that name (cb2000) sounded familiar and that my girl friend had told me to get it. She said that something which should also be ordered together with it were the "points of intrigue" which apparently immediately cut out an erection. She found them very effective to keep her slave on his toes. My ears were burning at this time. Later that day I plucked up my courage and went to the computer and ordered the chastity belt on the internet. Immediately afterwards I wrote an email to Janine. "Dearest Janine, I have ordered the Chastity Belt in smoke gray and the Points of Intrigue in smoke gray. I think it will have a very beneficial effect on me, as it will channel my thoughts more fully towards you (and go near-mad with desire for you). I also ordered the Points of Intrigue following the advice from the Mistress from the Amsterdam shop. We might have to experiment a bit, and see where it will take us. I am sure that my demeanor will change because of wearing it. I will be submissive without being wimpy. Knight rather than slave but your tool/instrument nevertheless. You have already provided me with sweet guidance by standing me in the corner, in your writings, enforcing the wearing of the butt plug, making me polish your beautiful boots, drawing out and savoring those and a host of other moments. These moments in itself will become more than second nature, will become fully integrated in our life. The chastity belt will no doubt help in this. The idea that you will fully control my sexually (more fully than now, for then you will be completely satisfied that there is no wandering off the fine line) sends shivers of pleasure down my spine. I have no idea how I will cope with the truly enforced chastity. I have no idea how my body will react to the chastity belt. After a (short?) while you should perhaps try to make the chastity last longer. I sometimes fantasize of not having relief in between your visits but perhaps then you would feel very much loved near the end of such a period. On the other hand that might just be your intention." Janine indicated that she was very happy with the progress I was making. Her good mood could not last and sure enough it didn't. The next day we had a row over a petty issue and I received a punishing email from her. "William, it is a pity that your last email was not simply a mistake. I have noticed your disrespectful attitude over the last couple of weeks. It is a pity that your actions in ordering the chastity belt have not been backed up by your general attitude towards me. I do not like having the mickey taken out of me. You know I can take a joke but you also know I expect more from you. I expect to be held in more esteem and more importantly I expect to feel your deference more than I am doing at present when we are talking on the phone and when you write to me. Understand? As an additional task I would like you to start and finish `The Secret History', you know the book by Donna Tartt we discussed, before you are permitted relief on Saturday morning. Each day you do not finish it will add two days to your chastity. There is a lot on your mind this week. Please make sure I am not consigned to the bottom of your priorities. Yes, I have received your thoughts on the use of the chastity belt. I am pleased with what you have to say. Naturally, the control I am exercising at the moment can only be a start. Your enforced chastity was always a point along the road for us. We are nearly there. When it comes I alone will determine what happens next. I will decide how long each period of will last. Submitting to me is a permanent arrangement; your relief will only be permitted when I say so. It is up to you to ensure your behavior meets my expectations, if you are to be permitted temporary release. You will cope with chastity because I expect it of you. You can continue to provide me with your thoughts on chastity and such like this week; I will enjoy the addition they make to my own fantasies. Furthermore you have pre-empted my desire to be addressed at appropriate times in a more appropriate, courteous way. I think it is revealing you use the term Mistress twice in your letter, don't you. I do not want a slave but I do want you to yield absolutely to my rules and besides what I call you is up to me. In the absence of a better suggestion, you will call me Mistress when I demand it and when you consider it necessary." Our relationship continued to evolve. Janine proved to have a very fertile and imaginative mind and a few days later she sent me another loving message: "William, it was only right that you should have to wear the butt plug last night. My journey was proving exceptionally tedious: late trains, later and non- existent buses and then my arriving late at the appointment I had that evening. I truly took great comfort in the thought of you sharing at least some of the 'discomfort' with me. These thoughts took my mind away from the other troubles. It was I think one of your more welcome suggestions that I should require this of you. I have my own ideas about reality. I like very much the suggestion that the chastity belt is put on with the expectation that he will be able to unlock it whenever he wants; when in fact she has other plans. I am very much looking forward to the chastity belt as my Christmas present and because it is mine, it is for me to decide what to do with it. You will follow my instructions on the matter. In the meantime the fiction is enjoyable; I have been reading too. I cannot wait to see you." And then quicker than we had expected the chastity belt arrived. On its arrival I rapidly opened the parcel and straightaway tried the chastity belt out. It was an ingenious piece of work that was held in place by a small iron padlock. As agreed I mailed two of the keys of the lock to Janine. The third key would immediately follow after we felt completely comfortable with the chastity belt. Janine, my sweet Mistress, has asked me to write about my experiences with the CB 2000 chastity belt over those first few weeks: -Wednesday- "Mistress, at the risk that you might be bored with the details I would like to explain just a few more things about the chastity belt. Broadly speaking there are two main elements. There is the ring which is placed behind the cock and balls and the cage in which the cock is forced. These two are then joined together with a pin, which is then locked. There is a danger that one can pull out of the back of the chastity belt (i.e. through the ring). To counter this I am now wearing a smaller size ring. I have also experimented with the various pin sizes. I think I have now fine tuned this instrument of control to perfection. It is truly ready for your visit. I am feeling the lock through your brown-black panties right now. I woke up at 3.45 am. As usual I was very hard. The toilet brought only light relief. Fortunately I drifted back to sleep after an hour." -Monday- "Mistress, I have been locked in now for more than 100 hours and it really kicked in yesterday evening. I slept haphazardly (awake till about 2) and images of you kept floating by. There was love, lots of it, longing and especially lust. I reread some of you sexy letters. I have already mentioned your written one- liners yesterday which were very good (tone and for instance the 'good boy' quote). Keeping me locked in for the family funeral I have to go to tomorrow is very fitting. There should be no question as to where my allegiance lies. The third key to the chastity belt is now in full view on the mantelpiece in the bedroom as a gentle reminder." -Thursday - "Mistress, your text message yesterday evening made me totally your plaything with my erection encased in the chastity belt and my ass captive to the butt plug. You have told me not to underestimate you and you have warned me that I would learn to respect your strictness and your stern imagination. How truthful you are. I am finding this out the hard way. You are making my wildest dreams come true in ways I had not imagined. More than that, you are taking me outside myself. I woke up with a start at five. I could not remember if I had dreamt during the night but my cock was stretched to its limit. This caused the chastity belt to lie heavily against my balls. I tried to turn on my other side but my cock kept pushing in vain against its prison. I quickly got out of bed and dashed off to the toilet in order to try to ease the situation. (I must not forget to ask your permission when you are here). Due to the fact that my last orgasm occurred Sunday a week ago (10 days! This must be something of a record) and I have been locked in since Saturday, the erection is strong and shows little sign of subsiding. It pushed the chastity belt cruelly against my balls (seeing is believing), so I desperately tried not to think of you, but to no avail, as you are all over my mind. Hence after fruitless tossing and turning I started writing these lines at 6.29 hrs. There is fire in my loins and fire in my heart." -Saturday - "Mistress, I have just calculated that I have been permitted two orgasms in the last 23 days. Apart from the two said orgasms I have been locked in now for 14 days. You have decided this in your wisdom and I am happy to oblige. To all this Janine replied with a wonderful email: "William, I haven't decided yet when I will permit your next relief. A more severe regime for you suits me at present and I would like to reap the benefits of your chastity for a while longer before allowing you this pleasure. Much depends on your behavior over the next few days. Your politeness is asking permission to do various things is definitely improving. I realize you are concerned about what will happen when you have given me the third key to the chastity belt on Friday. That of course is the whole point. You are not the only one to be aroused by the thought. Next time we are together, I want you to pay special attention to following the rules both in the apartment and outside. You do not have to make a big song and dance about it when we are out; a few carefully chosen or whispered words will be enough. It is very easy to forget to do these things or to imagine it is all right now and again to ignore them because it seems inappropriate somehow. You do not quite understand yet how to follow this strict discipline and the time for me making allowances has now past. If you are not a good boy; you will be punished. I will not tolerate disobedience. I hope you have not forgotten to buy a suitable and more satisfactory alternative for the whip. I am looking forward to using it on you. I will also be paying particular attention to your use of the word please. If you have any difficulty with the chastity belt you may ring the Mistress at the shop for additional guidance. It would in any case be polite to thank her and tell her it has arrived. No more than that though. Do you understand? I will have additional instructions for you regarding my arrival on the 6th and what I require of you that evening and afterwards in due course." This was it. She had made the decision. Janine was finally moving in with me. On her terms of course but I did not mind. I was overjoyed. In the week before her arrival I wrote her a further show of my devotion: "Mistress, as I was on the road it gave me an opportunity to purchase a special product. At the shop you know well I bought a leather paddle. It is a suitable and more satisfactory alternative for a whip. I will place it on the side table in the living room on Friday." Friday night the 6th of December is a date, which is indelibly etched in my mind. From that date on my life was completely changed. Janine had taken full control of my life and I would never be allowed to forget it. The flight had been exhilarating and Janine was even happier to see me at the barrier. I quickly gave her the last key of the lock of the chastity belt. Together we walked towards the parking garage, but first she wanted to set the tone for our relationship. She unexpectedly took my hand and gently nudged me into the ladies' room and made me follow her into the cubicle. Janine sat down on the toilet seat and ordered me to drop my pants in order to look how the chastity belt suited me. At the same time my helplessness and unease seemed to help her to piss. She told me she was glad that she had taught me how to clean her afterwards with his tongue. It was very pleasurable to her and it enforced my submission. After we had left the airport and had turned onto the motorway she casually put her hand on my crotch. "How does it feel, darling, wearing the restrainer? Does it excite you as much as it excites me?" I turned his head towards her and animatedly started to answer her when I was suddenly and painfully cut short by a violent squeezing of my balls. "And keep your two hands at the wheel. You know I do not like these antics". Needless to say I was suitably demure for the rest of the car journey. When we arrived at the apartment I hurriedly let her in and bent down and kissed her feet in the lower hallway. Janine always enjoyed this ritual and mischievously trod on one of my hands. Fortunately I did not make a protesting noise. When I was allowed to get up Janine suddenly lashed out and slapped me full on the cheek. "This is for your email insolence earlier this week! I will not stand for it!" Through a mist of tears I nodded quickly and put my hand to my burning cheek. " I am sorry Janine, I.." "Oh, shut up. I am going up the stairs now and I want you to follow me closely. I want to be as near as you can, with your nose in my ass. Now do it!" Once inside the apartment Janine quietly removed her wet string and carelessly stuffed it in my mouth. "Get completely undressed and fetch me a cold drink with lots of ice. I am all hot and dehydrated from the flight." Later she would get me to remove her boots but for now they rested comfortably on my naked back. I was on all fours in front of her with her string still in my mouth and wearing only the chastity belt. She liked using me as a footstool. Janine felt completely at ease and content as she sat sipping her drink and thinking about our love and the further development of our relationship. Yes, she loved him truly, madly, deeply, and he was becoming more and more used to her requests and demands. The more outrageous her wishes, the more zealous he tried to fulfill them. He was becoming very devoted indeed. She took another sip of the drink. Jeanine realized she shouldn't go too fast, but she knew she had to get him to understand another new phase in their relationship as soon as possible. She wanted his complete submission. "I think it is time we set up some toilet rules." I looked at her. Now what? Toilet rules? She continued: "First of all, William, we only use the one toilet here and I should always have the priority. Therefore you are always to ask permission if you have to go. If I don't need to go or if I don't need you for something else I'll probably let you go to the toilet. Secondly, I think we should extend this rule to whenever we are together somewhere. You should always ask for my permission. Don't you agree, darling, that this will help make our relationship work much better.? Bewildered I could only nod my acquiescence. After a while Janine started talking of her plans for the following evening. "Tomorrow evening I want you to wear the butt plug and my panties and I want you to take me to the prostitute area. If I am sufficiently aroused I might let you be jerked off by a prostitute of my choosing. Of course I will be present to watch. I daresay I will enjoy it more than you, lovely, but we know that is how it should be, don't we?" Afterwards Janine lay in bed and thought about the day's events. God, it had been good. She had fucked his brains out lying on top of him. He had licked her clit madly and she had come repeatedly and divinely. And later she had made him come exactly when she wanted him to. Then she had locked him up again. She had really no idea when she would next unlock him. So much depended on her mood. So much depended on the way he continued to please her. Half sleeping Janine registered his obedient final kiss on her asshole. "Good Boy, you have made me very happy today. As a reward you are allowed to keep your face there all night. Don't you dare disappoint me.", she murmured and she stretched her body. Life was perfect. Epilogue The apartment was a tip. No, not a tip, it was just very untidy. I was getting a bit fed up with her things all over the place. I really had enough and I decided to confront her at the first possible opportunity. The next morning I asked Janine directly: "Could you please clear up the living room and the hallway? It is full of your stuff. I am fed up about it. The place is a tip. I will not stand for it" Janine smiled and then laughed out loud. "Clear up? Me? I am afraid that I am bad in that way. But now that we are truly living together I know that you will do an excellent job in keeping the apartment tidy, won't you? You didn't really expect me to help you in this, surely? And another thing, I do not like you complaining. I think I'll add a few more weeks to the date I was going to unlock your chastity belt. That should teach you a bit more respect for me. Now go and make the coffee." And of course I saw her points and fully accepted her superior reasoning. However, keeping the flat tidy was only another small sacrifice in an endless line of humiliations, as I would quickly learn. x-x-x
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