A Like-New Marriage

This is my actual story of how a simple chastity tube revitalized, even saved, our marriage although the names are obviously fake to protect my husband. The solution is real and as I look back it is so obvious I wish I had stumbled (and stumble on it I did) years earlier.

For several years John has been somewhat of a slam-bang- thank you mam lover without much holding, caressing, talking, or general romance. I rarely achieved an orgasm any more. He is 54 and I am 52 and because he was quite successful in his business we were able to retire about 21/2 years ago. I had thought that that would allow us time to do things together and get much closer like it was in the beginning. How wrong I was! Golf and fishing turned into 4 or 5 day a week activities and His damn Eagles were his whole life in football season. Lovemaking became almost non-existent in spite of the fact that I know he masturbated at least 2 or 3 times a week. I guess that it was easier than making love to me.

Then one Saturday while he was out playing golf with his buddy, Jim (he didn’t have time to mow the lawn so I had to do that) I was surfing on the computer and mostly feeling sorry for myself. The more I thought the worse things I thought (like times he came home and acted guilty) and before long I convinced myself that he was fooling around on me (with absolutely no evidence to go on.) Just for the heck of it I found web sites for chastity belts. I was going to teach that SOB a lesson.

What I learned in the next couple of hours about chastity led me to the fantastic solution. It seemed (and it makes a lot of sense) that enforced chastity could be a great aid for changing an undesirable behavior. Now most of the information related to female domination and slave training which I am not into at all, but the basis for it working was simple and useful. Sexual release is the most powerful (more that money or power) male motivator there is. When orgasm is allowed on demand, sexual desire has little effect on the male’s actions. But when denied for significant periods of time a man will do almost anything to achieve it, even alter his behavior.

My first step was to write down what I wanted from my husband. I wanted the man I first fell in love with back. He was sensitive to my needs, attentive, appreciative, and spent time talking and doing things with me, and he was a patient and romantic lover making sure I enjoyed sex as much as he did. I also realized that though we had lost this closeness over the years I still loved him very much and wanted to save this marriage if I could. I didn’t want to control him or take away the other things he enjoys like his golf or fishing because they are as important to him as say going to the mall with my girlfriends is to me. I just wanted a fair share of his attention and for him to make me and the marriage the number 1 priority in his life.

When he finally got home from golf about 7:00 he had already grabbed a snack so I was left to have supper alone and reheated. I confronted him and told him I wasn’t sure I could trust him any more and that though I loved him as much as ever I didn’t really like him any more. Needless to say he was taken aback but to his credit he stayed right there and talked to me. He said he still loved me and didn’t know why we were drifting apart but he wanted to save the marriage also. After about an hour of talk and tears I mentioned the chastity belts and what I had been reading. This really threw him for a loop. After talking and crying for most of the night I convinced him that the only way that any thing would change is if we did things very differently and the only way he could regain my trust and show his commitment to the relationship and me was to try the enforced chastity route. By dawn we had put together a contract that we agreed to try for one year. If it didn’t work by then we would reevaluate the whole marriage.

The contract was fairly simple:

• John wears a chastity device that prevents intercourse or masturbation for a period of 20 days called the "wait" period and then gets 12 hours (from 8:00PM till 8:00AM) where he is free called the release period. The cycle is then repeated.
• During the release period Jane agrees to provide John with whatever sex (as much as he wants) without regard to her needs.
• During the wait period John is required to meet Jane’s list of needs that she put together earlier. If he is insensitive, particularly inattentive, unappreciative, or places his own desires ahead of the marriage, Jane is allowed to add 1 or more days to the wait period. John is also required during the wait period to romantically, emotionally, and physically satisfy Jane’s needs within reason.
• If John is particularly sensitive or places the marriage above all else beyond expectations on a given occasion Jane may choose to reduce the wait period by a day.
• Jane is required to treat John with the same respect and love and sensitivity she expects of him. If she fails to do this she will apologize and attempt to make amends. If she consistently fails to do this or in, John’s opinion, blatantly shows a lack of concern for his feelings he may opt to cancel the contract and John and Jane will consider dissolving the union.
• Anytime John is released for adjustments to the device or for inspection or for hygiene reasons, his hands shall be secured behind him. (This is actually important because when he is sexually deprived his will power is weak and his sex drive could overrule judgment. Once broken the commitment loses value.)
• Should John intentionally break free of the device or use the emergency key in a non-emergency the contract will be considered null and void and John and Jane will consider dissolving the union.

Many of these terms are subjective and I will try to tell you what qualifies for penalties and what does not.

First of all he is allowed to disagree and argue with me. Two people never agree on everything and this is healthy. It is perfectly okay to tell me he thinks I’m wrong or something won’t work but if calls me stupid or says that is "the dumbest idea I ever heard" he can plan on an extra day real quick. We expect to spend some time together other than with our minds lost in the boob tube. That doesn’t mean he can’t ask me to wait a minute while they give the scores or something but then I expect him to talk with me if I want to. And we are expected to be a little aware of what the other is wearing or doing at the moment. Also, no more handing me a $50 bill on my birthday. He should have some idea of something I have mentioned I would like and he should take the time to find something nice. Taking one another for granted solicits a warning and explanation of how Jane or John feels, if this behavior persists it can be penalized. We share chores around the house and should not have to nagged to do them (We should know when they need doing.) An occasional reminder is okay but if something doesn’t get done then in a timely manner it shows a lack of concern.

After agreeing to the contract, the next day we picked out a chastity device from an on line site. We chose the "curve model" and ordered it. We took an old belt and cut it in 2 to make wristbands. John drilled holes in all the ends and we bought 2 small padlocks and about 6" of chain for securing his hands when the device was removed outside the release period. After the device arrived which took about 3 weeks we put it on. It took 3 or 4 days to get it adjusted so that it was reasonably comfortable but still very secure. It is apparently a little uncomfortable when he gets aroused but he is able to deal with it. I normally remove it and check for chaffing and cleaning about every 3 days. We put one key in my safe deposit box at the bank, which he cannot access. One key is in a small strong box by the nightstand for which only I know the combination. The third key we put in a small plastic bag, which I initialed on the 4 corners on the inside with indelible, permanent marker and then sealed with one of those bag sealers so if it is ever opened I will know it. He keeps this in his wallet in case of an emergency and each evening I check his wallet to make sure it has not been tampered with.

Let me say the first month was hard for John. He ended up with a wait period of 30 days because he still was the same old John at first. He actually got most of his days because it took him most of the month to just learn to say I am sorry instead of trying to make it look like it was my problem. But when his wait was up we had to treat all that as water under the bridge and not hold past sins against him. The 12 hours of release are about him and I have to always remember that. He is usually pretty horny when he comes out of the "CD" as we call it (He also refers to it as his Cruel Mistress) and has his first orgasm long before I am even close. But it works out okay because after he has sex he always makes love at least once or twice more and then sometimes a quickie just before the 8:00AM deadline.

His 2nd wait period went much better only lasting 24 days as I recall. He continued to get better so that after about 4months he would get either none or 1-penalty days. We both learned a lot during this period. Once in a heated argument he lashed out with something hurtful and I said, "Okay, that gets you a day buster." He stopped cold and asked why is it okay for you but not for me? I thought a second and realized he was just responding to the way I had just put him down. I took back the penalty day and said lets start over. We argued a couple more minutes before we realized we not only would never agree on the issue but it also wasn’t all that important. We called it a draw and had a laugh and went on with other things.

Also, he would occasionally go shopping with me if none of my friends could go and there was a really good sale on. And he would not complain the entire time. He would even comment on various items and recommend some things to try on.

Also he has learned to be romantic. He enjoys just holding me or sitting beside me while we sit on the couch watching TV evenings. Come bedtime he caresses and kisses me and lets me indicate how far I want him to go. He has become both gentle and very adept at taking me to climax by manual/oral technique. Trust me ladies, this gives you a stronger orgasm then intercourse any day of the week.

Late this winter/early spring there were 2 events that were major milestones that reassure me that we are going to make it.

The first was when John and 3 buddies went upstate ice fishing for the day and said they would be back by 5or 5:30. At 6:15 John finally calls on his cell phone that they are packing up their stuff and about to head home. At the sound off his voice I was relieved that they hadn’t all fallen through the ice. Then I was just angry. When John got home he tossed his hat in the door like this was some kind of a joke and when I said, "you are in serious trouble mister" he got very defensive. He started telling me I had no business being scared and making excuses why I shouldn’t have expected him to call and I just kept counting. "That’s one, that’s 2,3"..and he would protest more. When I got to 7 I just yelled, "STOP! You have gone right back to where you were when we started trying to make me feel like it is my fault for being a worrywart. If you had just apologized you could have been out of this with one day." Suddenly he realized what he was doing and said, "this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, isn’t it." I agreed and he apologized. I then told him not only did he scare me to death, but also then he hurt me. Most of all though he disappointed me because I thought we were beyond that. At this point he actually started to cry a little and apologized again. I accepted his apology but told him there was nothing he could do to ever get back those seven days.

The second incident was about 3 weeks later. About 8:00 I got a call from my girl friend saying she was sick and couldn’t go to the flower show. John must have overheard me tell her I would probably just stay home then cause it isn’t much fun to go alone. I didn’t say anything to John about it. A few minutes later I heard John on the phone with Jim. They were supposed to go out to the range a little later to hit some "pre-season balls" as he calls it. He told Jim, "I’m going to bail. Jane doesn’t have any body to take her to the flower show so I am going to go with her." Now going to a flower show would rank just after having a root canal with John. By the time John came in to tell me, I could feel tears rolling down my face. We went to the show and had a good time and he actually asked about some of the plants and he made me feel like he was just as happy being there as if he had gone with Jim to the driving range. When we got home I thanked him for taking me and told him how much fun I had but added "You know I still can’t reduce your days this month." He just said, "that’s okay, I understand." And I think he meant it.

When the end of the "wait" came I was actually feeling a bit guilty for having been so hard line and was determined to make his release as fantastic as possible. For supper that night I made all his favorites, fat and cholesterol, (actually a big steak with mashed potatoes soaked in butter and chocolate cake and put on a slightly seductive skirt and blouse with no bra. After we ate and cleaned up the kitchen we went and sat on the couch and watched some TV and I encouraged him to do more petting than talking or cuddling. About 7:30 I told him he better go get his shower. I put on my sexiest baby doll nightie and warmed a bottle of body lotion to very warm (but not hot) in the mic.

When he got out of the shower and dried off and brushed his teeth and shaved it was still not quite 8:00 so I had him lie down on the bed so I could give him a back rub with the warm oil. At 8:00 I told him to roll over and that I needed him to trust me for something really special. I took a couple of old soft drapery tie cords I had and loosely tied his hands to the top bedposts so his hands were limited (he now looked a little wary.) I then removed the "CD." For the next few minutes I massaged his front with the warm oil and would drag my fingernails gently over his nipples, testicles, and penis. He was going crazy and when I thought he was about at his wit’s end I started to pump his penis, slowly picking up the pace. When he climaxed I thought he was having a seizure as he shuddered so hard for about 5 seconds or so that the bed literally shook. I then released his hands and laid down beside him.

When he recovered he made love to me like he never had before, gentle but firm and he held himself back I am sure so that we reached a mutual orgasm. We made love once more that night and fell asleep in each other’s arms, which is how we woke up. He took the bottle of lotion and gave me a massage that started out just relaxing but soon became very sensual and in a few minutes I had an orgasm. After a minute or so I rolled up onto him and started to gently undulate. He put his hands firmly on my butt and stopped my motion and then said, "It is after 8:00." We just laid there together as 1 for a couple of minutes and then he said I guess we better get the cruel mistress.

I put it on him and almost reluctantly snapped the lock. I then initialed the next release date on the calendar by the bed and he said "that’s only 18 days you know." I said "one day for the flower show and one day for this morning." He then said if he’d known that he’d have given me massages every morning. I told him he should be so lucky. It was actually for being so strong and true to the commitment.

If he had asked me that morning if we could leave it off and spend the day together and put it on tomorrow morning I would have caved in a New York minute cause those thoughts were already going through my head. I still don’t dare tell him that because I am not sure we are ready for that big a step away from the program and I can’t let him know how vulnerable I was at that moment. As it turned out we did spend the day with each other. We went shopping and both had fun. First we went to a sporting goods store and he showed me every golf club and fishing rod in the place and told me why each one was better than some other one. (I think these were hints.) To me they just looked like clubs and poles but I guess the fish know the difference. Then we went to a couple fashion stores but all we bought all day was a pair of new jeans for him. We ended with dinner at Red Lobster and a movie (Moulin Rouge) before going home. That night he just held me while we went to sleep.

And others have noticed the change in our relationship. We were at a party just a few days ago. Jim (John’s #1 golf buddy) and his wife Sally were there. At one point I was alone with Sally and she said, "I can’t believe how much John has changed in the last few months." She went on to say how he seemed to worship me and was more polite and friendly and he seemed happier. Then she said and he is a lot more interesting. She said," I wish Jim could show me just 1/2 as much love." He doesn’t just stand with the boys talking sports but mingles and talks about lots of things. As if John was the only one of us who had changed and everything before was his fault. I had to bite my tongue because I really wanted to tell her but I could never betray John’s trust. So I just gave her some garbage about you have to talk to him about what you need and give him a reason to spend time at home. She said, "I have all the sexy lingerie but the next morning he is the same old Jim."

We just started the last "wait" this week and I am pretty sure we will renew the contract. The other night John offhandedly said, "Next year I am going to renegotiate for a little shorter wait period." He didn’t wait for a response or reaction before going on to another subject. I don’t know. The wait has to be long enough to provide motivation but not so long as to be truly punitive. Maybe we could go down to 16 or 17 days but if he screws up he gets 3 or 4 days added instead of 1. We can probably drop the securing of the hands when I am checking and cleaning because I don’t believe he will challenge it. We both realize now, I think, the importance of the arrangement. Marriage requires a lot of effort to make it work and there is no instant gratification.

You get a long time peace and comfort and it is slow to erode when you start to get lazy so we never really saw what was happening to us all those years. This provides a motivation on his part to pay attention to the marriage and if we end the contract I think it would just be a matter of time till he slipped back to his old ways. As for me, the contract puts a serious responsibility on me. Not only do I have to make sure the release periods are worth the "wait" but I also have to make certain that during the "wait" period I treat John exactly as I want to be treated. I realized early on that I had become as indifferent to the relationship as John had and was often cruel or biting. It is imperative that John feels he can speak up without fearing retribution when I don’t show him love or respect. I have found as long as I remember that I am not "the boss" and I am not in charge, that probably because I am a woman, I can meet this obligation.

The other thing I had to learn was to differentiate between truly important and little habits that were just slightly annoying. Otherwise little things would cloud my judgment and my treatment of John. Once in a while though (and I don’t know why) I tend to wield my "power" and I guess I can be a real bitch. Fortunately John is not afraid and will let me know I am not playing by the rules. This entails a sincere apology on my part and usually some form of restitution for whatever cruelty or thoughtless thing I did. Chocolate cake usually works. My role is crucial for this arrangement to work. If I ever get vindictive or can’t forgive after he serves his extra days the process will fall apart. I am really proud of how far both of us have come this year.

02-May-23 Update

My husband has just amazed me one more time. He went over to pick up Jim to get in around of golf as soon as Jim got home from work and was a few minutes early. He apparently told Sally (Jim's wife) that if she was serious about what she had talked to me about at the party a couple weeks ago she should call me and ask me about our CD we got but if she ever told Jim where she found out about it neither on of us would ever speak to her again. She wanted to know if it was some kind of Hypnosis CD or something. I told her it was way different than that and she had better come over and sit down and talk. She is on her way over for coffee now. I only mentioned it to Jim in passing last night when we were discussing next year's contract as I was telling him how proud of us and how far we had come and how happy I am and how envious Sally is. I never dreamed he would do anything like this.

As far as next year's contract there have been some changes. The wait period will be 2-weeks instead of 20 days but a sigle serious screw up and he gets the full 20 days for that wait time and 2 days per offense after that. Also, we will no longer secure his hands during an inspection or hygiene check unless he indicates he is very horney. The other major change is related to when I have my period. We found that sometimes the release day was during my heavy flow time and this reduced intamacy and tended to make it more mechanical. Now if I can anticipate that the monthly visitor will start just at his release day I will just move the release day up one. If release day is going to fall a couple days into my period than we will extend the wait till the end of it and then for waiting longer we will make the release 36 hours instead of 12 for this cycle as long as he "behaves" during extended time.

Wish us continued luck.

jnjdoe@hotmail.com

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Page last updated 02-May-30 by: Altairboy@aol.com