An Advice Column: "Ask Mistress Wanda"

Submitted by: M. Lewis

I receive a lot of weird letters. I didn't initially publish this one because I thought it was made-up, but I later learned otherwise.

Janet & I plan to marry in a few months, when we graduate from university. We're having a bit of a disagreement about our plans, and Janet suggested I write to you. I've agreed accept your answer, if Janet concurs.

Perhaps I should give you a bit of background.

I grew up in a small, straight community. In high school there were guys who got laid; they were jocks, or rich, or just lucky. I didn't fall into any of those categories. When I turned eighteen and went off to university, I was still a virgin.

Almost immediately I met Janet, and rumor had it that she was sexually active - very active. At first things did not go well, but then somehow I mentioned that I was still unbedded. Her eyes brightened, and all of a sudden she was interested. Unfortunately she insisted I remain virginal. It was frustrating to say the least.

To help me control myself, and to make me an "extra special virgin" she got me to wear a chastity belt. In return, she let me lick her cunt & ass. She still liked regular sex, so she continued to see others. To make it easier for me to accept her activity, she let me masturbate once for every one hundred times she got laid. Fortunately, she liked visiting fraternities, so I was able to jack off about once every three months.

We became engaged, while our sex lives remained the same. Early in my senior year she seemed to be having second thoughts, but then I got lucky - twice. First I won a "cash for life" lottery, and then Janet started showing renewed interest in our marriage.

Now I'm getting to the problem. Janet says it's especially satisfying to get head from a horny virgin. That I can understand, so I've agreed to stay belted even after we marry. Unfortunately she wants me to go farther - she wants me to stay horny all the time, and give up masturbating all together.

I think I've done my share of compromising. Please, Wanda, ask Janet to let me occasionally play with my wee-wee.

Signed frustrated

Although I thought it was fake, I decided to respond anyway.

Dear frustrated,
I am amazed at your insensitivity!!! Of course your ability to do a proper job of licking is diminished for days, possibly weeks, after masturbation. Having said that, I would suggest a bit of a compromise - solely for the sake of keeping you healthy. I suggest she "milk" you about three times a year. That should take care of your physical needs, without interfering with your horniness. Now apologize to Janet, and say good-by to your wee-wee.

Mistress Wanda

A few days later, I received another email.

Thank you for your reply. Although it's not all I hoped for, it does seem reasonable. I hate to bother you again, but we have another problem.

We'll be married where we grew up, and have a luncheon with our families. Afterwards, we'll drive off, allegedly to our honeymoon hotel. In fact, Janet has arranged an evening reception at a frat house, with about a dozen men she knows. Her plan is that the guests, starting with the best man, will consummate the marriage on my behalf.

Here's the problem: she wants me to tend bar. The room we'll be using is L-shaped, with the bar at one end and the main activity at the other, out of sight of the bar. If they are consummating the marriage on my behalf, I think I should be allowed to watch. What do you think?

Signed frustrated

Dear frustrated,

Once again you are thinking about yourself, not Janet. It's her wedding and she should make all the decisions. However, I do have a suggestion that might help. Perhaps you would have more success if you sought to be a better participant. You could offer to lick up between guests.

Mistress Wanda

A few days later, I got an email thanking me for my suggestion. Apparently Janet liked the idea. In addition, they invited me to the reception. As it happened, I was traveling and would be close to their university at the time, so I decided to go.

I arrived just before the happy couple, and was welcomed by twelve fraternity brothers. They seemed so young and juicy, that I was tempted to teach them a few things, but then I decided it was Janet's night, and I should leave them to her.

When the couple arrived, Janet quickly dispensed with greetings, and told her husband to lie down, face up, and put a small pillow under his head. She then disrobed, slowly and sensually, and proceeded to get down on all fours, squatting over her husband's face. He, and the audience, had an excellent view of her ass. The best man got to his knees and consummated the marriage while her husband licked her clit. After a short break, while his cream was properly licked up, the other guests began to follow.

After four or five rounds, Janet's legs began to cramp and she shifted to a more comfortable position. The evening continued until every pair of balls were fully drained of cream - except her husband's of course.

The evening finally ended with the frat's inviting me, Janet and her husband back to celebrate their first anniversary. I just might go.

By the way, I never did find out what her husband's name is, but I'm not sure he deserves one.

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