I had actually hurt her.
There are times in a relationship when you know you're walking on egg-shells, and only the truly selfish don't accommodate their partner. From the moment I hung up the phone - the silence lasted three days - I knew, despite all the self-justifying arguments, I was wrong and Josie was hurt.
We'd been 'together' about 9 months. An odd couple. I see nothing on the net, in the newsgroups that suggests we can exist, but we do. Two submissives, 'subs' that love together, play together and care and understand eachother - well, more or less - in my case, obviously less.
Eventually, I called her. Explained how sorry I was, recognised what a shit I had been. She knew, it's like that with Josie. But she wasn't anybody's doormat:
"What are you going to do about it?", long pause.
"Think it over darling - and write to me."
We don't live together, both have other lives which include families, children, careers in different towns. So I wrote a long e-mail. Put simply the message was I wanted her to hurt me and then give me the opportunity to show her I loved her, cared for her and was truly sorry - and perhaps she would forgive me.
Josie agreed, I booked a mid-week break in a little cottage in Wales (it's a wonderful industry here in the UK, if any of you in the US want some peace and seclusion when you come to the UK - think about it.)
________xXx________
I was short of breath and feeling chilly from expectation when I arrived, about two hours before Josie was due. My cock had been trying to break the bars on the CB-2000 all the way. We love that thing (bless you Millers) it is the one thing that makes the transfer of power complete, Josie has the keys - and as part of our agreement I had snapped the lock shut on Friday night. It was now Tuesday 4pm. No games for me for the last 4 nights. If you're a stranger to these things www.cb-2000.com will tell you more than any description I can bore you with.
I took the luggage in, including the two large toy-boxes that comprise the collection we've built up - and a rod holdall. Yes it even has fishing rods in it, afterall that's the 'reason' I'm here. But it's cargo includes the long toys that don't fit in the boxes.
A while later, the curtains closed, log-fire burning brightly in the stove and a glass of chilled white on the side board, I heard Josie's car on the gravel drive and my heart started pounding as I went out to help her with her bags. Meeting me in the doorway we kissed and held each other.
"Enough of that, or you'll get the wrong idea" she said as she pulled away from me. She does a very authentic wicked grin, her eyes trapped mine as her hand felt the hard lump of the cage with its throbbing occupant through my trousers.
"I trust you've been a good boy?"
"Of course, Josie. I..." She quickly cut me off putting her finger to my lips
"I think it's mistress, darling - don't you?" the grin reinforced the command, more powerfully than any barked order.
She gave me her keys and walked inside as I went to collect her things. I brought them in. locking the front door. God, I remember as I write how the tension was doing weird things to my tummy which seemed to be doing a polka with my heart. Her top-coat was thrown over the setee and she stood by the fire, glass in hand.
"Put them down and come here" she beckoned and then pointed to the floor in front of her feet. I knelt and looked up to her, her perfume surrounded me.
She took a half a step towards me and her hands held my head, pressing it into the warm black leather of her skirt.
"Oh darling" she said softly, "you sure you want to go through with this?" the inflection in her voice was sincere. We aren't anywhere up the grading system of S&M devotees, we love bondage and D/s - playing in the shallow water of the S&M pool, happily and very erotically.
"Yes mistress"
She hugged me tighter into her lap and then walked to the armchair. Sitting, black stockinged, cross legged. She looked at me, sipping her drink. Her crisp white blouse tight over her beautiful breasts. I could make out the chasing of lace under its taught covering. Josie is shorter than I am - about 5' 4", although the heels of her patent black shoes give her another 3 or 4 inches.
"Stephen" she started, breaking the palpable silence "you are to be punished." "This isn't a game. I've been thinking over all you have said to me since you were so foul and I agree with you. I need to punish you to help you. You can be very selfish and I want this to always be in your mind when you are thinking that way. I am going to hurt you, I shall humiliate you, you are in for a really rough time. Your cock is tight in my little prison. I don't yet know whether I will let it out - I don't think I will, because this punishment is for real and keeping your cock locked up seems to be the proper answer to your selfishness." She took a sip from her drink.
"I am going to be particularly cruel to you and I will let you show me you love me and want me. You'll take everything I give you and love me the more for it - and you'll tell me so, when I ask you to."
This was an important speech for Josie, she's a very tender and submissive lover. She had told me to begin with she had doubts that she'd have the mental attitude to see this through, I could tell from the way she said it, the way she looked at me: she was committed, she had absolute conviction that this was right. It was scary - and I loved her and wanted above everything to show her.
"Go to the bedroom and undress, put on the handcuffs and kneel on the floor to wait for me".
Mesmerised I said nothing and got up, moving to pick up her two bags. "Leave them here, darling". Uh-oh there's something in them I'm not going to like I thought. "Yes, mistress", I said with uncharacteristic meekness and went down the little hallway to the bedroom.
I undressed quickly putting my clothes away. I could hear Josie moving around checking the drawers I'd put the toys in. The sound of the taps in the kitchenette, clinking of crocks. I picked up the heavy chrome handcuffs and put one on, then hands behind my back I ratchetted the other snugly on my wrist. That barometer of my state of arousal was showing I was genuinely a little frightened - well actually a lot frightened. Oh lord, what had I done? I knelt facing the door in the middle of the floor by the foot of the bed - a four poster - just the thing for a romantic break...
Anticipation, expectation, OK so I knew this was different from anything we had ever done, but my cock was now thinking ahead, all by itself, greedily. A mind of its own it began to fill its little jail. The clear plastic ring tight and snug round my cock and balls holding me tight. Pressed now against the confines of its prison, owned by my mistress, the most delicious discomfort, an un-virtuous circle: the more I am aware that I'm controlled by Josie, the more I think about her having my cock locked up, the more hard it becomes. The greater the sensation of its cage the harder, the greater sensation, the harder.
The door opened, breaking into my thoughtless reverie of sensation. She walked to me, my eyes not lifting from the floor, her shoes, all quiet, a fold in the black stocking by her ankle. I think I'd forgotten how to breathe without making a noise, noise - earsplitting silence - her hands on my head.
"Come into the bathroom, darling, follow me".
Clumsily I stood and followed the tightness of leather stretched across the most attractive arse in the whole world.
As I took in the small changes to the bathroom I had inspected when I arrived
"kneel on the mat and lean over the bath" simultaneously sight and ears told me the start of my humiliation. The hot-water bottle bulging obscenely over the shower-curtain rail, the tube dangling in the bath, the plastic kitchen-jug by the soap dish at the bath's end.
Josie flicked the disposable rubber glove and stretched it over her ringless hand. "Not too much, not too little" she said to herself as she squeezed lubricant onto her gloved fingers. "Show me!" she said with a little brisqueness. I lifted my arse and moved my legs apart.
Cool, cold, penetrating finger.
The nozzle rested against my anus for a brief second, the warm palm of her left hand purchasing on the bottom of my backbone as I felt the invasion begin with a small twist. This we had never done, it was a fair choice - humiliation, I don't think I'm good at this, I was anxious. I know I can't hold an enema - I have given myself one once or twice just to see what it was like, I can't hold the damn thing - oh god, she'll tell me to hold it and I'll leak, I'll burst, filth over the floor, oh shit, no, shit. Cold and slipped in, moving her hand from my back she puffed the pump and I felt the invader grow inside me. Involuntarily moving away, the only noise was of my cock-cage knocking against the side of the bath. Josie said nothing, efficiently she pumped the other bulb and I felt the outer bladder pull the nozzle to as tight a seat as the manufacturer could have wanted.
"I want you clean", she said. "Clean for your mistress. Now I've read you need three of these, we'll just keep going until I'm satisfied you're all sparkly". Her hand on the hose the perceptible vibration as she let the catch go and gently the warm jet began to flow as she released the pressure.
I felt the flow increase and my tummy graoned and oggled as the water pushed it's way, warmth exploring my belly. It was now too much. A great groan from my stomach as a feeling of a temporary pause in the intensity of discomfort came and soon went.
No more feeling of flow.
"Stand up" she said as she fastened the clip.
I felt pale, I felt awful, I felt desperate. Cramps. I knew I couldn't control myself, but the pressure just made the internal bulb hold tighter. I started to babble, "I must go now, Josie, help me please, I must - oh Josie, please, really please, Mistress!"
"two minutes for not addressing your mistress properly" she looked me in the eye. Oh shit... but two minutes will end, it's not long, I said to myself. My stomach groaned - I could feel myself trying to expel the bulb. Her hands on my nipples, I adore her playing with my nipples, however roughly, the rougher the better.. she just looked at me, flicking playfully over the tips of my little buds - I bent over, part in pain, part to not be looking at her, humiliation, I was out of control. Spasms in my tummy.
"Don't you dare make a mess" a command, "hold it until I tell you." Deflating the bulb and pulling the spout from me in a smooth, swift stroke just made any sense of control impossible. I fell on the toilet seat and as the jet cascaded from me I felt faint, weak, and so, so pleased to be rid of the pressure.
"We'll do it until you get it right, I told you to hold it." As I sat there she moved towards the bottle and as I blessed the feeling of comfort as my entire body seemed to be emptying from me I watched her prepare the second enema.
_______xXx________
Humiliation. I felt an inch tall. Beaten, defeated, great lover, great man: I'd babbled, begged, behaved like a six year old. The 5th one - she'd told me to hold it if I loved her. I wasn't able to do anything but screw my face in a parody of concentration and lost control completely. No, I didn't lose it - I never had it. As I sat on the toilet, my hands locked behind my back, staring at the floor, failed the first test, told I'd failed, wanted to live up to my 'great ideal' what was I going to be like after 3 days? Josie had taken her gloves off and was running a shallow bath.
"Get in, lover", she said with ironic emphasis. "You're going to have to do better than that or you'll never make it". "And just in case you're wondering, you'll have plenty of time to practice - I'll give you another before you go to bed and it's going to be morning and night while we're here - I expect some discipline next time, or I'll make sure you're sorry."
"I am so sorry mistress".
"Sorry butters no carrots, or in your case, ... oh never mind - anyway, you're all clean inside now - let's get you in the bath."
I stood in and then knelt as she sponged me thoroughly. Soapy finger up a sore anus, a lot of suds around my cb and then a towel held up. Drying me I was granted a kiss - "I don't know that you deserve it".
Josie took the hairdryer from the mount on the wall and played it over the CB, inspecting my confinement. After a few days I get a few sore spots if I'm not careful and she took a tub of vasaline and pushed a finger around the rings.
"Now you're clean we are going to start with your punishment sessions." Washing her hands, I stared at the floor. "Follow me". She walked out into the living room, warm now with the fire. There were leather cuffs and the leather bondage belt on the setee. "Stand here" she pointed to the middle of the rug. As I stood she busied herself with the cuffs, ankles, wrists, thighs, tough thick black bands with chrome plated fittings and rings. The posture collar with its three straps, tight under my chin forcing my head up and my neck straight. The bondage belt is of a corset design with plenty of D rings. She pulled the straps across and worked the laces, then took the three straps another notch or two, then worked the laces again so I was squeezed tight in its grip. My cock was filling its cage - I love leather, I love bondage - but this had an edge to it. I was being prepared for a punishment I knew would take me beyond our games. I couldn't shake off the frisson of excitement that being controlled by this beautiful woman gave me, despite my fear.
She locked my ankles together with a shackle. "Right, kneel down, one more little thing and then we're ready to start - and I'm going to have some fun." I sank to my knees, keeping my balance and my head held up. "Move to the chair and put your head on the cushion". I edged along on my knees and leaned forward. Josie's hand caressed my arse, "You'll not sit on this without thinking of me for weeks", she joked. Then realising something wasn't right she unshackled my ankles. "Legs right apart". I complied, this was awful, the panic begining to worry me now. What's next? I heard the screw top coming of a jar and Josie walked to the toy box. I knew it was to be the butt plug - I just knew it. Sound of a rubber glove, then she was leaning over my ear and whispered "The big black one darling". I groaned. "It's punishment for you, remember?"
The cool lubricant on my anus, penetrating finger. Hey! something was wrong! I began to burn and the smell hit me, Tiger Balm! "No, please, no!" A sharp slap "Don't you dare speak out of turn!" She picked up the hair brush and gave me six swift stinging smacks. I just groaned into the cushion. The big black plug, began its journey. It's a real bitch, I can only just take it - and that's with a lot of persuasion. Twisting, pushing, pushing real hard and my anus was on fire! Oh god, I can't... then it was in. And I hurt like hell.
"Now you're comfy, I'm going to get comfy too". I heard the zipper on her skirt, not that I was paying attention to anything much but the incredible stretching, burning sensation in my arse. "Legs together" and locked. The key to the handcuffs in the lock. She helped me into a kneeling upright position, then attached the ankle cuffs to my thigh binders, then the wrist cuffs to the rings on the outside of the same. My arse was sore as hell from the probe and that fiendish 'vapour rub'. She walked in front of me, oh god she was beautiful, now just in her stockings and suspenders. She took the TENS unit out of her bag, peeled off the electrodes and unravelled the wires. She put them on my arse cheeks, still pink no doubt from the spanking and placed the control unit on the arm of the armchair I was facing.
"Now for your jewellery!" she smiled, taking the nipple clamps out joined on their three chromium chains.
She sat in front of me, legs wide apart and leaned forwards taking my nipples in each hand and playing with them quite tenderly. Looking me in the eyes she began:
"This is how it's going to work, Stephen. You can take these clamps for 20 minutes, maybe half an hour before they begin to really get to you. You can ask me to take them off and take out that butt plug at any time - but there's a catch. Before they come off, you are going to get a real whipping, over that stool, with the tawse." Now the tawse is our 'heaviest' implement and it's vicious. "Right now, you'll get 100 strokes." my mouth opened in disbelief, I can't take 10! "but every minute you leave those clamps on, you're going to save one stroke" ... shit, that's over an hour and a half!
"You don't say anything. You're going to eat me non-stop all the time, and when you bring me to orgasm, that's it - the clock stops - you get your arse tanned and then the clips come off - understand?", "Yes mistress". "Good, now just so you don't slack, I'm going to turn up the power on the TENS when I think you're not working hard enough... get the idea? You'll learn to keep me just on the brink, too much and your arse is flayed, too little and it's fried!"
The clamps were applied, they're always ok at first. She walked to the drawer I had put some of the toys in and there was the rattle of chain. The long chain dog leash, she threaded the end through the ring on the front of my collar and attached it to the ring in the middle of the chain lying on my chest between the clamps. Before she was done she hung a 3oz weight off the end of each clamp and pointed at the clock on the wall. "Ten past seven, ok?". Then the blindfold went over my eyes. Shit the clamps were already getting going and I heard her slide onto the chair in front of me. I smelt her sex. She pulled the lead and forced my head to her moist sex. As my tongue licked out I felt the bite of the TENS unit in my backside. "Oh darling," she sighed, "that's a hair trigger tonight - I'm just as horny as hell. Don't take too long...mmm that's gorgeous, mmm, ohh yes...".
99 minutes, my arse ached so much, I started to try and persuade myself how many strokes I could take. Oh shit.
Stephen is really keen to hear from any UK correspondents interested in this wonderful world of CBs and control... drop a line to him at snark889@hotmail.com
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Page last updated 00-May-30 by: Altairboy@aol.com