I have been attempting to trace the roots of my obsession. The psyche is a complicated beast, though, I still only have a vague notion of it’s origin and why it has grown to the extent that it has. In some indirect way it started with my doting father. I say this only by way of explanation, not an excuse. He put me on a pedestal and indulged my every whim. He continually told me I was smart and pretty and deserved to have anything that I wanted. Somehow I took those messages to an extreme he could not have even imagined, let alone intended.
I was an only child. I grew up in a relatively affluent home with very supportive parents. Consequently, I was very self-assured and assertive at an early age. Throughout my childhood I always took the lead in games and activities. When I developed an interest in boys, I was the one who initiated relationships and controlled them. I naturally assumed that boys should do what I wanted, and they did.
By the time I was ready for sex I was a full blown Domme, even though I had no idea what that meant at the time. My first sexual experience occurred when I was thirteen. I had read somewhere that oral sex was very sophisticated, so after school one day I brought my boy friend to my room to deflower me with his tongue. He did a very good job, considering that it was his first time, and for a reward I allowed him to jack off while I watched. I enjoyed this so much that I started bringing Seth to my room several times a week. Sometimes I would have him bring me to orgasm two or three times before I let him pleasure himself. Other times I wouldn’t allow my lover to relieve his excitement at all.
After becoming accustomed to the delicious pleasures of receiving oral sex, I didn’t have much motivation to experiment with coitus. The summer that I turned fifteen I decided that I should at least try it so I’d know what it was like. For the occasion Seth and I canoed to a small island on a nearby lake and then hiked inland to a shady glen. We laid a blanket on the ground and stripped off all our clothes. Then I motioned for him to kneel and begin eating my pussy. Seth had gotten quite adept at muff diving by then, within minutes he brought me to an exquisite climax. As usual, servicing me got him extremely aroused and he had a raging hard-on. So I directed him to lay down, positioned my sex over his cock and slowly lowered myself onto him. My pussy felt so good as his cock slid further and further inside of me. The thrill of having sex outdoors, combined with the afterglow of oral sex, had lubricated and loosened me so much that there wasn’t any of the pain usually associated with losing one’s virginity. Just sheer unadulterated pleasure. I rode Seth to a quick and intense orgasm, then slowed it down and cruised to several more sexual releases before he finally ejaculated deep inside of me.
As I recount these events, it’s clear that a pattern was well-ingrained even then. I insisted on being in control, the pleasure of my sexual partner was secondary. During college this escalated as I became acquainted with the world of bondage and domination. I was particularly focused on domination, for me bondage was just a little added spice. There was no shortage of willing submissives, male and female, on and off campus.
I became fascinated with the idea of maintaining complete control over the genitalia of my submissives. For a time I experimented with various chastity devices. Visually they were extremely satisfying, the sight a cock or pussy encased in metal or plastic was a tremendous turn-on. For the short-term these served my needs, but as my thoughts gravitated toward long-term or permanent wear, aesthetic and health considerations prompted me to seek other methods.
Infibulation through piercing was the next phase that I went through. I arranged for a local piercer who made house calls to perform a dual installation on my loyal submissives, Jill and Brad. The process was fairly simple for Brad. It involved a ring inserted between the ball sac and anus, and another ring inserted on the underside of the glans at its base. When the piercings were healed properly, I permanently secured the two rings together with a steel lock. Jill’s infibulation was more complex. Four rings were inserted on each of her outer labia, spaced evenly about one-half inch apart, and a barbell post was secured to the middle of her clitoris. When everything had healed, a circular shield which effectively prevented Jill from touching her clitoris was attached to the barbell, and a chain was woven shoelace-fashion through the rings and permanently locked to itself at the base of her cunt.
Watching Jill and Brad getting pierced that night really got me hot. After the piercer left I had them both service my pussy and asshole with their mouths for hours, each trading off periodically from one orifice to the other. Then I strapped a dildo on Brad and rode him in the female superior position to several orgasms while Jill sucked alternately on my nipples and my toes. Variations on the activities of that night were repeated often over the next few years. I never got tired of inspecting the handiwork of the piercer, or musing on the sexual submission it demonstrated.
After graduation Jill’s and Brad’s careers necessitated that they move away. I hated to see them go, although there was some consolation in the knowledge that I had developed them into world class submissives. I expect that the dominants they each ended up with appreciate the quality and thoroughness of their training. While searching for suitable replacements, I decided to take my obsession for control to a higher level through the use of hypnosis.
During graduate school I had worked as a teaching assistant for a Psychology professor who was performing research in behavior modification through hypnosis. Through this association I became very adept at identifying and hypnotizing susceptible subjects. The moment I met Dalton I knew instinctively that he was a submissive to his very core, and that he was the perfect person with which to implement my hypno-sexual domination techniques.
Basic to hypnosis is the concept that a person can’t be made to do anything that radically differs from what they would be willing to do if conscious. So I set about confirming my assumptions regarding the extent of Dalton’s submissiveness. I told him I wanted him to become my lover, and I made it very clear that I required total submission on his part, including complete denial of his sexual gratification. He was also informed of my intention to reinforce these conditions with hypnosis. The desire to be dominated by an attractive and forceful woman apparently overcame any misgivings he may have had, because he readily agreed to the terms.
I used the first session to establish a basic orientation and install triggers for regularly required responses. For instance, I instructed him to fixate on wanting to pleasure me with his mouth whenever he saw my pussy; he was, of course, instructed to wait for my command—Tongue— before acting on this desire. The next trance I induced in Dalton was used to implement the chastity feature, which by then was the center of my obsession. He was told that his penis would always remain limp, even when he was dreaming. All visual and physical sexual stimuli triggered an enhanced awareness of his sexual submissiveness and asexual status.
Whereas this new method lacked the visual impact of either the chastity devices or the infibulation accoutrement, I found it very satisfying to control Dalton’s cock twenty-four hours a day. One day I conceived a devilish idea. I put Dalton under and told him that he had been castrated. Whenever he looked at himself he would see himself as a eunuch. As an experiment I told him that because he was castrated his cock should atrophy and shrivel up. To my total surprise and delight, it did. Previously, his cock was about seven inches long when flaccid—it shrank to nearly half that size.
Lately I have become concerned about my obsession. In moments of clarity and objectivity I see myself as an addict with an insatiable Jones. I have started entertaining fantasies about turning Dalton into a real eunuch. And as outre as that idea may seem, where my obsession might take me after that is what really troubles me.
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