Advice for Beginning Chastity Belt Wearers Seeking Spouses or SO as Keyholders

Hello:

This article is written for newly beginning chastity belt wearers who are seeking to have their wife or SO be their keyholder. As background, I am a middle-aged male who owns and wears a chastity belt, a CB-2000 and a CB-3000. Which belt I wear depends on what activities I may be doing on any particular day (i.e., on days I am flying, I do not wear my Neosteel belt).

This article is written from a male perspective (sorry, ladies), but readers can easily change wife to husband and get the same benefit from the reading.

This article had it's genus when an e-mail was posted to a chastity belt-themed group. I have edited the e-mail, corrected some of the grammar and spelling and am only posting a portion of it here:

--- somebody wrote:

I am having a hard time getting my wife to be dominate. She's too nice. She feels bad that I have been wearing this thing for 8 days and wants to give me a release. Go figure. She has all the power in the world to control every aspect of my behavior and she feels bad about it. I know some women are good natured; I just never thought I'd get one. I mean when I come home from school or work and I give her an attitude what does she do? No, not add more days - but throws the key in my face and says go fuck yourself! I'm trapped and I do not just mean in a chastised way. What can I do? What can I say? One way is to actually cheat on her but that would be an extreme that I am not morally able to do. Is there anybody's wife, mistress or girlfriend who is willing to guide her or even be a key holder? I just want this fantasy to work out.

And here is my reply:

If I could give you any advice, it would be BACK OFF.

For your chastity to "work" and for your wife to be your keyholder, you have to put yourself in her shoes. What's in all this for her? If all you are seeking is a fantasy, then this article is not for you; your real-life chastity desires are doomed and will never work long-term.

Cheating on your wife is certainly one option, but not a very smart one. If your wife were to find out (and wives always do), what would you say to her? Yeah, honey, I was fooling around, but I never f**ked her because I couldn't because I was in my chastity belt. Good luck with that one!

Instead, take stock of what you have and what you really, really.....really want. Is chastity the answer? Then your wearing a chastity belt is what you may wish to do. And you should probably start out by holding your own keys. And whatever you do, don't try to keep this hidden from your wife. She'll find out (wives always do), so it's better to be open and up front about it. She may just shake her head, but at least you are not overwhelming her with it and more importantly, you are showing her that you are serious and sincere. For now, you don't need your wife to hold your keys. You just need her to know what you are up to.

At this point, if she gets mad and gives you the ultimatum of either keep that thing and get out or get rid of that thing and you can stay, you have a real-life decision to make.

If she says nothing and there are no ultimatum's issued, then proceed with your self-belting. With experience comes confidence, so when you are ready (you'll know), you may wish to start experimenting with leaving the keys somewhere else besides in your wallet. Start simply and slowly and see how it goes. Leave the keys in the car when you go into the office. Leave them in your desk when you leave for the weekend. Be careful about mailing the keys to yourself. If the postal system loses them, you may have to find a locksmith or bolt cutters. You can put your keys in a glass of plain tap water and then put the glass in the back of the freezer. If your wife finds it (and by time you should know about wives and them finding out about stuff), you'll have to explain it, but since it doesn't directly involve her, she may not flip out.

While you are enjoying your belted life, you may also wish to consider doing more. By that I mean doing more around the house, for your wife (not necessarily TO your wife), etc. Little things can go a LONG way here. And remember: You are not doing these things to curry favor from your wife. You are doing them because they need doing and they are the right thing to do.

And when it comes to your wife, you know her better than anyone else. If she enjoys foot rubs, then that's what you should gently surprise her with. Don't say: Get off that phone call and sit down. I'm going to give you a foot rub now. Instead, gently surprise her when she is relaxed and may have her feet up after a long day. Naturally she'll wonder why you are doing all this. Rather than say that you are trying to build up brownie points so she'll hold your keys, say something like "I'm doing something that we both can enjoy" and take it from there. Just don't overdo it. Treats and surprises are more pleasant when they are unscripted and not happening every night. (If you don't know how to give a good foot massage, here's some info: http://lala.essortment.com/howtogivefoot_rjgv.htm )

At the same time, take advantage of some of the resources on the WWW. There are many web sites which discuss chastity. Stay away from the fantasy, masturbatory-fulfillment web sites. Altairboy has a superior site: http://www.tpe.com/~altarboy/ Here is an excellent UK site: http://www.chastity-uk.co.uk/partnerintrod2.htm This is another excellent resource: http://www.geocities.com/toyboy101/index.html

You can and should read these sites yourself. They provide both the husband and wife with excellent information.

In the meantime, your wife - unless she is totally blind and/or brain dead - will notice the changes in your demeanor, attitude, etc. Assuming you are not cheating on yourself but staying locked, she may become more cooperative and willing to experiment. I wrote "may" in that previous sentence because this is always a 50-50 thing.

But once your wife sees that this isn't just some silly fantasy (remember “serious and sincere” from earlier?), she may decide to "test the waters." If she asks, share the web sites with her, but let her examine them, read them and digest the information at her own pace. You'll know how she's doing by how she carries on once she has read them.

Be prepared for any questions, thoughts, or especially any fears or concerns she may have. Be kind, gentle, honest and forthright. She'll understand and appreciate it .... and I'll bet she'll also recognize that BOTH of you are entering into deep and foreign waters. It's okay to be nervous. But being knowledgeable, being prepared and being understanding is what you should be striving for.

Chastity isn't for everyone. Despite your best intentions (remember that the road to Hell is paved with them), your wife may never be interested. If that happens, it's decision time for you. Which goes? The belt or the marriage?

No matter what, best of luck. What you are undertaking is a big step, but handled correctly it can be a step towards a fuller, more loving marriage.

Best wishes ~

JC

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Page last updated 05-Mar-22 by: Altairboy@aol.com